Wild Thang
Our family is prone to killing plants before they even enter the front door. Not sure why. It just is. We (well I say "we", but it's mostly Momma and Mel) have always wanted to be able to keep fresh flowers in the house for decorative purposes and just because they're nice but it simply isn't possible. When you kill off a cactus (moi) you know it's just not meant to be.
This is one of the reasons we also chose to live in a townhouse. They don't have much of a yard, therefore we don't have to worry about keeping it tame and weeding it out every so often.
Boy how wrong we were.
Ever since Momma gave the green light for my fantastic Englishman to stay with me while she's away she has been in extreme Suzy Homemaker Mode. Cleaning the townhouse, buying furniture, decorating (finally, after almost a year of living there), cleaning some more, and of course, pulling up the weeds.
Yesterday when Momma and Mel were coming back from their dentist appointment, Momma noticed that we have a beanstalk growing in front of our step that goes to our front door. We never use the front door since we just go inside straight from the garage, but it's pretty tall. Like the size of a toddler tall. You can't miss it. There are also all of these weird vines on the mini-sidewalk that we have and it's really unsightly. We must bring our neighbor's property value down because of all of the weeds.
When she looked a little closer though, she noticed something else. It was a small cantaloupe a little bit bigger than a softball growing in our front patch of grass.
Yes, I'll repeat: a cantaloupe. As in the melon that people buy at grocery stores.
How the fuck does one grow a cantaloupe in the smallest patch of grass ever known to man? Smallest patch. Really. If you were to put a lawn mower on top of our grass, crank it on, turn it off, the mowing would be finished that fast. And we didn't put it there. We bought the house brand new so it's not like the people who lived there before us planted it there. It was crazy and one of the funniest things, I think.
Momma has decided that she's going to leave it and we're going to see how big it gets. We're chopping the beanstalk down though and digging up all of the yellow dandelions.
So perhaps we won't win for the prettiest flowers on the block but I'm sure we'll kick everyone's ass if there was ever a wild cantaloupe growing contest. How many people can do that, huh?