My Mumbling Thoughts

I'm sick, dellusional, and unable to focus on anything for more than five seconds. Luckily, it just so happens that I had a post written down from a couple of days ago while I was waiting on Mel's shift to finish up.

Oh yes, and a big thanks to Leah for sending me a postcard all the way from California while she was on her Thanksgiving break! I tell ya, I was very excited, seeing as this is the first thing that I've ever received from a fellow blogger. Perhaps one day I will return the kind gesture. It's fun.

**

11/26/05

Writers should always be prepared; a pen and paper on them at all times. I, unfortunately, am unprepared which is why I have found myself sitting in Target's food court writing on blank receipt paper, trying to look like I'm supposed to be sitting here with a purpose. Sadly, it is extremely unconvincing. For some reason, it is hard as hell to find something proper to write on at Target too. Well, something for free. Of course there are notebooks and random pads of paper, but that would require me to get up, purchase them, and then come sit back down, which is more energy then I care to use at the moment.

Why then am I sitting at a corner table, listening to Mini in the middle of the afternoon when I am obviously sick and should be in bed? Well, that would be because I came a little early to pick Mel up from work. She doesn't get off for another thirty minutes and I refuse to sit in my car wasting gas to stay warm. Instead I have taken over a small corner table and am trying my best to not look like I'm lost, homeless, crazy, or a combination of all three.

And the only reason why I'm here so freaking early is because I finally got my front license plate for my car. I don't know why I put it off for so long. It only took about fifteen minutes. Being a procrastinator will never fully make sense to me. I need to put the new stickers on both of the plates though. My front license plate is three years overdue. Oh well.

So while I wait, I'm writing down random thoughts and occasionally doing sign language with Mel. Of course it's our own special version of sign language that we make up as we go.

Aren't little kids great? Take for instance the two little boys that are sitting next to me right now. One of them has a serious staring problem that is making me nervous, and the other one is swiveling in his chair so fiercely I'm afraid he may propel himself clear across the room. They're so loud I can hear them over my music (the volume is on HIGH), and they have hit their grandmother. Twice.

I hope to have five of my own just like them.

There's also a small girl bouncing from chair to chair while coughing without covering her mouth. The last thing I need is more germs. Being sick is a common thing for me. Whether it is a twenty-four hour bug that is passing through or a full on virus that is ready to wipe out every last white blood cell in my body, I am normally the one person that is sick all year round.

I woke up this morning unable to feel the left side of my face. After tossing and turning for an hour trying to find a position that allows me to breathe out of both nostrils, I got up and decided to go downstairs and see if there was anything in the kitchen I might be able to taste.

On a completely random note, I found a bruise on my left pinky toe. I have no clue how it got there. All I know is that it hurts like hell and I want crutches.

Posted by Sam at 09:57 AM | Permalink

Momma: "Melissa, why don't you use your own bathroom and spit on the mirror in there?"

Posted by Sam at 09:57 AM | Permalink

The alarm clock went off at exactly 4:15 in the morning. I got out of bed at approximately 4:30am.

Why, you ask?

It's Black Friday, y'all. Didn't you hear?

I went downstairs and started getting ready. While I was in the shower I mentally prepared myself for the battle that I was getting ready to engage in. I planned out an internal map of Target and Best Buy. What was I going to hit first? Who was I going to hit first? How long did I plan to stay in certain areas? It was all very intricately planned out and I was ready for any kind of surprise situation.

I put on my war paint (clinique make-up), laced up my boots (Steve Madden tennis shoes), and put on my armor (American Eagle scarf and Target jacket). I got into my car and listened to Queen's, "We will rock you," on repeat (well, okay, not on repeat. I like other songs on the CD too), and began driving towards the battlefield.

It was game time.

I quickly grabbed breakfast from the Chick-fil-A drive thru and claimed a parking space where I inhaled my food and drank my morning orange juice. A fellow shopper and her young daughter had the same idea as me only they were eating Burger King. Ha. Burger King. It does not compare to Chick-fil-A's breakfast. I would surely have more strength and stamina then them.

I pulled out Mini, inserted the tiny earphones, and began to walk towards the two large, automatic doors with only one thing on my mind.

Bring. It. On.

The heat hit my face and the fluorescent lights blinded my eyes. I took in the scene. It all appeared to be very peaceful. It seemed like Target had asked every single one of their employees to come in early also. Everywhere I turned there was somebody new wearing kahki pants and a red top either re-stocking shelves or assisting a customer. They were definitely prepared.

I grabbed a shopping cart and began my journey to the CDs and DVD area.

Every which way I turned I couldn't escape the bright yellow stickers that marked down original prices or 50% discounts. It was all around me and I couldn't help but break out into a wide smile.

God, I was going to save so much money.

I took my time while I roamed up and down each of the aisles. I passed electronics, and the toy section where frantic parents stood trying decide which Barbie to get their child, or if little Bobby would prefer a race car or an action figure. The decisions that are almost life or death. People wandered into sections of the store that they would normally never dare to enter. There were lots of middle-aged men standing in the women's lingerie section with confused looks on their faces. Would she prefer lace or silk? What about a combination of both? Women were in the hardware section contemplating which set of hammers and nails their husband would like best.

It was a very entertaining sight.

After a short while I became lost in my own world. The mountain in my shopping cart was steadily growing and the whole time all I kept on thinking was, "awesome sales, saving money, I love Black Friday."

And so I danced. Not the kind of dancing where I was leaping from aisle to aisle while singing my own Target Savings Song, but enough to where one of Mel's co-workers/friends said she took notice. That was okay though. All of the savings I was making was definitely in need of celebration.

After a couple of hours combing through everything that Target had to offer, and re-visiting most of the Christmas decoration aisles, I heaved everything to a check out lane where a young girl whipped out her magic scanner and asked if I needed water to help with the dehydration.

Okay. So maybe she didn't offer me water, but I could have used some.

She bagged it all up for me and wished me a Happy Holiday.

I left with everything off of my Christmas list except for three things which must be purchased online.

Success was mine. I had conquered Target and came out alive with triumphant story to tell.

To celebrate, I danced my way over to Starbucks and bought a grande apple, caramel cider. I then drove on home into the sunrise, because by now it was only 9:30 in the morning.

The End.

Posted by Sam at 09:58 AM | Permalink

Mel: "Sammi, I don't want us to buy each other the same thing for Christmas. In order to avoid that, I think we should just tell each other what our gifts are now."

Posted by Sam at 09:59 AM | Permalink

Ah, nothing gets me going better in the mornings than listening to the Spice Girls and drinking apple, caramel cider from Starbucks. I have a theory that Starbucks slips some crack into whatever they serve to the public. That cider really jerks me awake, and occasionally it jerks my insides when I've drank too much. There is a limit I discovered, and mine is sucking an entire large apple cider in less than an hour on a semi-empty stomach. The results were not pretty.

I hate to say it, but...I feel cool too whenever I'm carrying around a Starbucks cup.

Oh, come on! Give me a break! I don't drink coffee so the envy that I feel whenever I see somebody who actually has coffee in their mug makes me insanely jealous. The cider only comes around once a year during the colder months so let me enjoy the image while it lasts. Geez.

Anyhoo, it is Wednesday/Friday for me. Since I worked like a crazy person on Veteran's Day, I get to take the day after Thanksgiving off. Isn't that fantastic? The entire day for me to...

GO AND BRAVE THE SHOPPING MALLS SINCE IT'S BLACK FRIDAY!

Oh, I'm ready for it. I've been growing my nails out specifically for this day and have broken in my comfy running shoes. And you can bet your ass I will fight a little kid for the last Hot Toy Of The Season. Whatever it is, I have no clue, but I'm ready to scrap and get dirty on this holiday tradition that we have created.

Doesn't it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Yeah. Me too.

Currently Mel is at home since she got today off of school and is getting the house all prepared for The Big Feast that we call Thanksgiving. It is, hands down, my favorite holiday ever.

Yes. Ever. Even more than Christmas.

Thanksgiving is a time when you get to make tons of food that you normally only make once a year. As soon as you wake up there's nothing but getting everything on the stove, in the oven, and set out to rise. Then you watch the parade, finish making the food, and gather around with family members that you enjoy (or tolerate, whatever the situation may be). Then you watch television and pass out on the couch while you let your digestive system do what it does best.

None of that gift-giving business. Everybody just comes around because they want to. What more could anybody want? Great food, great company, great times. Now since it's normally just Momma, Mel and myself, we have lots of fun. We don't get changed out of our jammies, we rotate who gets kitchen duty, and we sit around and have family bonding time.

Of course we have leftovers to last us until February. Three little ladies are unable to eat an entire feast all by themselves. While we were cleaning out the freezer to make room for whatever leftovers we'll have this year, we found some ham from Christmas 2004. Frightening.

I have been bitten by the holiday bug too. I don't know when it happened, but I'm pretty sure it was sometime last week when we bought the Charlie Brown Christmas album. With the Vince Guaraldi Trio of course. There is no other way to listen to Charlie Brown. Everything else is sacrilegious. The bug has infected me so much though that Mel and I are coming in on Saturday to DECORATE MY OFFICE.

You read that correctly. The next time people come into our hole on the 3rd floor, there will be tinsel, red bows, singing Santas, and hell, maybe even a mini-Christmas tree. Why not? If I'm going to do it I might as well go all the way.

I've embraced it and you all should too.

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate.

Posted by Sam at 10:00 AM | Permalink

As we were sitting on the ramp to get onto 28, a van pulled up next to Mel and me wanting to cut in the very long line. It said, "Vintage Security" on the side.

Mel: "What the hell is 'vintage security' supposed to mean? Are they going to build a moat around your house and throw an alligator in it?"

I couldn't stop laughing for ten minutes. So hilarious.

Posted by Sam at 10:03 AM | Permalink

I walk into the building three minutes late. When I arrive to our front office door I turn the knob to discover that it's already unlocked. Who the hell is here before me?

It was M. We're going to be having a big open house meeting on Monday to try and bring in new candidates and he's been working like a crazy person. All I've seen him do these past two weeks is type on his keyboard while yacking on the phone to somebody and guzzling Red Bull energy drinks. The man is a machine.

Of course I do what little part I can to help and alleviate some of the work load, but he's still a little unwilling to let me do some things. I'm not sure why but I get the feeling that he feels a bit guilty for asking me to do stuff. He acts like he can handle the entire workload when quite frankly, I'm surprised that he has even lasted this long with everything that he has going on.

On top of all of the HR drama in the office, I've still been trying to keep up with SuperAdmin's things while she's over at the Customer's Site. Meetings keep on being booked, phones continue to ring, and e-mails flood my inbox. I've already had to clean it out three times because the System Administrator has told me that it's over the size limit. I don't understand it. Luckily SuperAdmin has been able to sneak away every other day or so to visit us for two hours, but she's only one person and the moment she steps foot onto the premise everybody swarms around her shoving papers and questions in her face.

I'm keeping up really well with all of the work flow but could really care less. It's fall and the weather outside it's so pretty that I want to get a camera and take thousands of pictures so I can put them all together in chronological order and make a flip book out of it all.

That or just walk through dry leaves. How great is that? To listen to them rustle between your feet and crunch against the ground. I dance in them after work when nobody is in the parking lot and the sun has already disappeared from the sky.

At least I think I'm alone. If not then I hope whoever has seen me dancing in the leaves enjoyed the show.

Something about the end of the year and the colder months does something to me every single year. Who knows why. I'm a dramatic person who lives off of clichés so it's really easy for me to fall into my melancholy moods and convince myself that the end of the year is The End. Besides, I don't deal with any kind of change easily, no matter how good or bad it is. Big or small, I need time to adjust and let things sink in. Even though I'm a major fan of autumn, I have to pack away my flip flops, the tank tops, and take some time to say a proper goodbye to summer and all of it's perks. There is something sad about it all.

As the faxes come in, the phone numbers flash on my caller ID, the traffic piles up on the roads, lunches are delivered, meetings run over, guests walk through the door, and my e-mail ceases to give me a break, I sit behind my desk and do what I can to keep things sorted. However, my brain seems to be the thing that needs the most organization.

At the end of the day, I sit in my car, now without my fags, and contemplate things that swirl around in my brain. This is how it is for me. This is what I do and on most occasions, I do it with a genuine smile on my face. I enjoy it all for the most part, and sometimes I can't help but wonder if I create problems all on my own when there sure as hell isn't anything to be worried about. There's no need for me to get bent out of shape over tiny, insginificant issues that arise. I need to sit back, enjoy the ride, and relax. I should just really chill the fuck out, to say the least.

That's what I'm trying to do now I guess. Chill the fuck out...while I dance among the leaves.

Posted by Sam at 10:04 AM | Permalink

Yeehaw! Another tag from Voodoo. I do need to fill up some time. Sure I've got a couple of things that need to get done around here, but I'm taking a much needed break. My head hurts from the sugar hangover with all of the Halloween candy.

Now onto the questions...

1. First name?

Samantha

2. Were you named after anyone?

Nope. Momma told me that she knew what she was going to name me after she had a dream though. How cool is that?

3. Do you wish on stars?

Whenever the mood strikes me I do.

4. When did you cry last?

Um, about three or four days ago. I'm an emotional kind of gal.

5. Do you like your handwriting?

No, it's crap.

6. What is your favorite lunch meat?

Ham and occasionally turkey.

7. What is your birth date?

October 7th, 1985. Where was your present?

8. What is your most embarrassing CD?

Oh geez...don't make me say it. Please.

Alright, alright!

Kelly Clarkson.

I am ashamed.

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?

Shit yeah! I'm kick ass, didn't you know?

10. Do you have a journal?

Yep. I've got this blog, and another journal that I hand write everything in. I've had one since...umm...gosh, the fourth grade, maybe.

11. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Of course. That's how I survive coming to work.

13. Would you bungee jump?

I've thought about it, but I'd be too scared that I'd snap my neck once I jerked back up.

14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Sometimes. It depends on how much of a hurry I am to get into my jammies.

15. Do you think that you are strong?

Ha! No. It's embarrassing just how weak I am. It's a struggle just for me to lift up boxes with simple supplies in them.

16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate chip, cookie dough, or just plain chocolate.

17. Shoe Size?

I'm usually in between a 5 or 6.

18. Red or pink?

Pink. It's my second favorite color.

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?

Like physically? My feet. If not physically, then the fact that I'm a procrastinator.

20. Who do you miss most?

Do I really have to say? Duh. It's always been him.

21. Do you want everyone you send this to, to answer?

If they know what's good for them they will!

22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?

Navy blue pants and grey tennis shoes. Yeah. I dressed up.

23. What are you listening to right now?

The Zutons.

24. Last thing you ate?

A leftover rice krispy from our pot luck yesterday.

25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Blue or pink.

26. What is the weather like right now?

It's a gorgeous fall day. Blue skies, light wispy clouds, and lots of sun.

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?

Gene.

28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Eyes, arms, and shoulders.

29. Do you like the person who sent this to you?

Well, we don't know each other personally, but she seems like a cool chick.

30. Favorite Drink?

Non-alcoholic: Sweet tea.
Alcoholic: Southern comfort.

31. Favorite sport?

Well, I'll play badminton and extreme frisby (it's cool, hush), but I'll watch practically anything. That doesn't mean I'll understand, but I'll watch it.

32. Hair Color?

Light brownish?

33. Eye color?

Hazel.

34. Do you wear contacts?

Nah. I'm too scared to get my finger that close to my eyes. I rock the good 'ole glasses.

35. Favorite Food?

You honestly want me to try and pick one?

36. Last movie you watched?

Sin City.

37. Favorite day of the year?

What? Um, March 12th. I don't know why.

38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings?

I'm not a big fan of scary movies, but I'll watch them. I do prefer happy endings.

39. Summer or Fall?

Fall.

40. Hugs OR Kisses?

Both. And then some.

41. What Is Your Favorite Dessert?

Again, you honestly want me to pick just one?

42. Who Is Most Likely To Respond?

You never know.

43. Who Is Least Likely To Respond?

Everyone.

44. What Books Are You Reading?

Sadly, none. I need to work on that...

45. What’s on your mouse pad?

It's one of those generic Dell mouse pads.

46. What Did You Watch Last Night?

State of Play. It's this new show I discovered on BBCAmerica. I'm hooked to it.

48. Favorite Sounds?

Listening to the rain.

47. Favorite Smell?

Anything fruity.

50. Favorite animal?

Puppies.

51. What’s the farthest you’ve been from home?

London.

52. Do you have a special talent?

Everyone has at least one special talent, I'm sure. I probably have one, I just haven't noticed.

..

Thank you much, Voodoo. I live for this kind of stuff.

So I guess I will tag Mamasita, I can repay Mr. Hack, and I know Ash is dying to tag more people.

Posted by Sam at 10:10 AM | Permalink