Black Friday
The alarm clock went off at exactly 4:15 in the morning. I got out of bed at approximately 4:30am.
Why, you ask?
It's Black Friday, y'all. Didn't you hear?
I went downstairs and started getting ready. While I was in the shower I mentally prepared myself for the battle that I was getting ready to engage in. I planned out an internal map of Target and Best Buy. What was I going to hit first? Who was I going to hit first? How long did I plan to stay in certain areas? It was all very intricately planned out and I was ready for any kind of surprise situation.
I put on my war paint (clinique make-up), laced up my boots (Steve Madden tennis shoes), and put on my armor (American Eagle scarf and Target jacket). I got into my car and listened to Queen's, "We will rock you," on repeat (well, okay, not on repeat. I like other songs on the CD too), and began driving towards the battlefield.
It was game time.
I quickly grabbed breakfast from the Chick-fil-A drive thru and claimed a parking space where I inhaled my food and drank my morning orange juice. A fellow shopper and her young daughter had the same idea as me only they were eating Burger King. Ha. Burger King. It does not compare to Chick-fil-A's breakfast. I would surely have more strength and stamina then them.
I pulled out Mini, inserted the tiny earphones, and began to walk towards the two large, automatic doors with only one thing on my mind.
Bring. It. On.
The heat hit my face and the fluorescent lights blinded my eyes. I took in the scene. It all appeared to be very peaceful. It seemed like Target had asked every single one of their employees to come in early also. Everywhere I turned there was somebody new wearing kahki pants and a red top either re-stocking shelves or assisting a customer. They were definitely prepared.
I grabbed a shopping cart and began my journey to the CDs and DVD area.
Every which way I turned I couldn't escape the bright yellow stickers that marked down original prices or 50% discounts. It was all around me and I couldn't help but break out into a wide smile.
God, I was going to save so much money.
I took my time while I roamed up and down each of the aisles. I passed electronics, and the toy section where frantic parents stood trying decide which Barbie to get their child, or if little Bobby would prefer a race car or an action figure. The decisions that are almost life or death. People wandered into sections of the store that they would normally never dare to enter. There were lots of middle-aged men standing in the women's lingerie section with confused looks on their faces. Would she prefer lace or silk? What about a combination of both? Women were in the hardware section contemplating which set of hammers and nails their husband would like best.
It was a very entertaining sight.
After a short while I became lost in my own world. The mountain in my shopping cart was steadily growing and the whole time all I kept on thinking was, "awesome sales, saving money, I love Black Friday."
And so I danced. Not the kind of dancing where I was leaping from aisle to aisle while singing my own Target Savings Song, but enough to where one of Mel's co-workers/friends said she took notice. That was okay though. All of the savings I was making was definitely in need of celebration.
After a couple of hours combing through everything that Target had to offer, and re-visiting most of the Christmas decoration aisles, I heaved everything to a check out lane where a young girl whipped out her magic scanner and asked if I needed water to help with the dehydration.
Okay. So maybe she didn't offer me water, but I could have used some.
She bagged it all up for me and wished me a Happy Holiday.
I left with everything off of my Christmas list except for three things which must be purchased online.
Success was mine. I had conquered Target and came out alive with triumphant story to tell.
To celebrate, I danced my way over to Starbucks and bought a grande apple, caramel cider. I then drove on home into the sunrise, because by now it was only 9:30 in the morning.
The End.