My Mumbling Thoughts

To say that I've been partying like a woman who has just been freed from prison would sadly be a lie. I wish I could say that as soon as I learned that I had money (money, baby!) to go to school I jumped for joy and spent the rest of my day drinking like fish. Instead I took about a minute to gather myself together and then continued on with the rest of my day like any other normal working day.

I made it into work and the minute I opened my mailbox I discovered that I had to do three other jobs that were so far back logged it would be impossible for me to finish it all in one day.

There was no jumping. No joy. None whatsoever.

Instead there was just me walking around pissed off and cursing everyone who are bigger procrastinators than me which left me to go back behind them and clean their mess up.

It wasn't until the end of day when I went downstairs for my eleventh smoke break when it really did hit me that in a matter of weeks I would be packing up most of my things and then proceed to get onto an airplane to fly over to London to study and learn about what I love doing the most. What more could a girl want? Well, another cigarette, that's for sure. So I stayed downstairs and smoked another fag while I listened to the airplanes across the street. They seemed a lot louder for some reason.

Slowly I've been breaking the news to fellow coworkers that it's official. Every single time I tell somebody it becomes just that more real to me. I say things now like, "when I'm over there" and "when I leave." I don't have to include the "maybe's" or the "I'm not sure's."

I've already told SuperAdmin that I'll be leaving and soon I'll be talking to security about putting my clearance on the shelf so I can come back during my vacations and work. Other than that there hasn't been much action. I guess there's really no point at the moment. For now we're just talking and I'm still working.

Working. Always working.

For the past month or so I've been putting in a lot of overtime and working the weekends. Not just because I'm a freak but because I'm trying to get a little more money in my own pocket. What I've learned is that working a lot of hours is hard work and that saving the money that you do earn is even harder. You would think that since I spend most of my life here at the office that I wouldn't have time to spend money, but that does not appear to be the case. I seem to be eating my money (still, yes I know) and the bills never really go away. Tiny emergencies pop up and I've got to put more money out in the world instead of in my savings account. It's annoying, but I can say that a little more is being saved up and I'm doing better with my random spending.

I'm going to celebrate properly though. Exactly when this is going to occur, I'm not sure, but it will happen. I'm also not entirely sure when I made the transition from being a slacker to Full On Corporate Worker, but I'm kind of scared to admit that maybe it has happened. I get caught up in the daily work drama, complain about our processes and find myself walking only to forget where I was going in the first place. I guess sometimes it's nice because the day flies by and I feel like I've actually accomplished something when the workday is over, but on the other hand sometimes I just want to sit and write about my mornings and how much traffic sucked.

For now I'll just be happy with knowing that all of my hard work, researching, learning, waiting, frustrations, filling out forms, blood, sweat, tears, patience and waiting some more has all paid off. Learning that I was actually accepted to a university was a great surprise and finding out that I had a place to stay was an even bigger surprise; but being able to pay for it all and not feel like I've spent the last two (well, almost two) years of my life hoping for nothing is quite possibly one of the greatest feelings in the world.