My Mumbling Thoughts

This weekend was a nice mini vacation for me. Mendy and I had some much needed girl therapy Saturday afternoon right on into Sunday. It was time that was spent getting giggly-tipsy off of bitch drinks and then relaxing on Sunday at Lake Anna. Nothing gets better than that. Nothing.

As I was lying on the sand, roasting under the sun and getting ready to doze off into my first nap of the day, I overheard these two lifeguards talking about random shit that people talk about when they're on the job and waiting for their eight hours to finish up so they could clock out.

Lifeguard 1: "So like, I was watching this thing online, right, about this six-year-old boy who was at the zoo and fell into the thing that they keep the gorillas in, you know? Not the cage, but like, the thing that looks like where they would really live if they were out in the wild. Anyway, he falls in right before they let the gorillas outside and everyone's freaking out because he hit his head and was knocked unconscious. So like, the gorillas are out, walking around, his mom's crying and screaming, and everyone's freaked because they don't know how the gorillas are going to react. I mean, you just don't know how animals are going to react. - Screaming at kids in the lake - GET OFF THE ROPES!! Anyway, so like, the big, main gorilla walks up to the little boy and sits down next to him when the little boy finally wakes up and starts crying, because, hello, there's a giant gorilla looking down at him. I mean, shit, you'd start crying too if that was the first thing you saw when you woke up. Anyway, the parents are freaking, the zoo keepers are freaking, everyone's freaking. That's when the gorilla starts petting the little boy. Like, really petting him on the back. Once the little boy stops crying, the gorilla scoops him up and cradles him like a baby. I shit you not. I totally saw it on tape. It was crazy."

Lifeguard 2: "Oh my god. Animals totally have souls."

Lifeguard 1: "I know, right?"

This is who we'd depend on heaven forbid somebody needed CPR.

Aside from that, the lake was beautiful, the weather was beautiful, the hotdog I ate for lunch was beautiful. It was all so nice and comfortable that it made me want to buy a beach house even more. There's something about all of the sand and the sound of the water washing up onto land that makes me slip into a trance of complete nothing-ness. My mind shuts off and I no longer have any worries. Work? What work? I don't remember anything about work. It was just what the doctor ordered for my mental state. Even though I'm refreshed though, I could still do with another trip down there, probably on a random week day. Just because. No other reason is required.

Now that I'm out of my mind numbing state (damn), work and reality have resurfaced and sunk their claws in my back again. Although, now that my days here are quickly fading away, I've been making sure that I make myself scarce around the office. I was told to start delegating my work out to Jackie so she can get the hang of things before I leave and so that people aren't so shocked once I'm gone. It was strange to hear our PM say that, but I thought it was a good idea. Not only that, I haven't been as motivated to do my regular tasks like usual. These days my thoughts are primarily consumed with what I should and shouldn't pack in my suitcase and will I be allowed to bring two cartons of cigarettes with me? Everything else I could really care less about.

The countdown has begun and I'm looking at five weeks until I don't have to work anymore. It's exactly 50 days until I get on the airplane though, since I'm taking some time off to go to North Carolina. Last night as I was about to fall asleep, my mind started over thinking (as usual) and it was like something creeped up on me and bit me from behind. Now I realize that I'm on a clock and I've got limited time left here. Five weeks? Five weeks! Do you know what happens at five weeks? Five weeks turns into four weeks. And then four turns into three. Three obviously turns into two and before you know it there's only one week left.

One week left.

I was glad that I was laying down because it felt like I could have fainted if I were standing.

I'm doing much better today though. After a couple of deep breaths and cigarettes, I calmed myself down and decided that I'll have to take things one step at a time, just like how I've been doing all along. I'll be fine, there's no need to panic, and if things do get too crazy for me, I can always go back down to Lake Anna where I forget that I even have a life. All that matters is the sun, sand and water.