My Mumbling Thoughts

These past two weeks have been spent taking my time, going slow, slipping back and avoiding others. There's no real reason for it other than I'm tired. I have no motivation to come into work, to cater to other people's problems or care about them either. I suppose my four day weekend off of work was a minor tease to remind me what it's like to not have to work all the time, to really enjoy your day and heaven forbid get some proper rest.

So now when people come up to me and ask about overtime preauthorization or expense reports, they're shocked when I say I haven't even given it a thought. Perhaps that isn't the right response to give, but it's the truth. I've just been meandering through our hallways, running errands when I should be thinking about timecard errors and getting lost in my ice green tea from Starbucks when the thermometer claims that it's 100 degrees outside. Who wants to work when there are pools that need to be used and beds to rest in after you soak up all of the sun? Not me.

I boil it all down to the loan. I'm secure with money for school now. What's the point in working?

And then I must remind myself that the point is I've still got a car that has a monthly payment, that requires gas in order to get me from point A to point B, a cell phone that I enjoy using and a shopping habit for the World's Most Expensive Things that won't quit. Not only that, it's good to save money so that when I finally do arrive in London, I've got some spare cash to go out and eat, buy a new hair dryer and go out if the mood strikes me. That's why I must continue working.

That, and I know that after two weeks of sitting at home, my vaction mood would have left me only to be replaced by cabin fever.

I force myself into our building if only to make an appearance and pretend that I'm actually doing my job. "It'll pass," I think to myself while sitting in my cube surrounded by silence. It's only a phase and before I know it I'll be back to full steam ahead cursing myself for being so lazy and allowing all of the mail to continue to collect at the bottom of my feet under my desk.

Until that moment arrives though I will remain in my Slacker Mode. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got more Starbucks to drink and long luches to attend.