My Mumbling Thoughts

Since I'm getting ready to exit the Corporate Life and get back into the Education Mode, I thought I would share some vaulable tricks of the trade that I picked up throughout my years in different office buildings. Let's face it, sometimes you have a stack of work sitting on your desk that needs to get done, but you're simply not in the mood to put on your working cap and get it all finished. Sometimes you just want to kill time until it's time to leave for the rest of the day. Don't deny it. You know you have. You just got back from a long lunch and your body is begging for sleep. You curse yourself for ordering that large side of fries with your turkey club sandwich and now all you want to do is curl up under your desk and take a cat nap.

Since most of us would get fired if we were caught doing that, these are my top three things I've chosen as alternate ways to waste time, yet still look productive at the same time.

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1. Power walking

This is what I do whenever I'm about to rest my forehead on my computer screen and catch a few z's. I get up and walk anywhere, but I do it like I've got some place really important to be. Normally it's just to go to the bathroom, downstairs to smoke, or to the vending machines to grab some sugar, but I get a look on my face that says, "do not talk to me, I'm very important and have very important places to be." Also, you must come up with a quick response that you say to everyone in the hallways when they say hi to you. My answer to everyone who asks how I'm doing is "pretty good." It's fast and keeps you walking that way nobody stops you to chat and slow you down. The last thing you want is for someone to give you more work while you're walking with a mission.

2. Little of this, little of that

You don't have to know the ins and outs of everything at the business you work for, but what I like to do is know a little bit of everything that way you can always add your two cents in a conversation. Whenever I feel like killing time, there's nothing better than distracting someone else from their work with a little shop talk.

For example, at the company I work at, we have a lot of standard departments. There's Procurement, Finance, Security, Change Management and so forth. I don't have the slightest clue how any of these departments function, but I know enough to get by and not make myself look like a total ass whenever talking about their work. Now, let's say I'm in the mood to go and distract someone from work so I can waste some time. All I do is walk into someone's office, tell them that I have a question about something that deals with their work and then I let them ramble on for a good hour or so until I'm ready to go sit back down at my desk and check to see if I have any new emails. It's brilliant. You wouldn't believe how many people love talking about themselves and what they do. Not only that, but if you work for a company that's really shitty, they also love complaining and droning on about how they think they could fix a certain problem.

Now, occasionally I listen to them and add my small share to the conversation, but for the most part it's just them going on and on about what they do. I like to call them "impromptu meetings".

3. Obvious hiding places

In my opinion, I think everyone should have a safe haven for whenever they need some quiet time. I know I don't like sitting where there's constant talking and phones are ringing off the hook all day, so I've found some obvious hiding places where I can sit in silence but still have a good reason to not be at my desk or running another errand for someone. I figure that they should be in the wide open too, that way nobody can ever say that you were trying to sneak off and be a slacker.

My first option is always a conference room. I have access to view all of the schedules for each room since I'm admin, but if you don't have that option, find someone who does have access and block off an hour or two for "Project Reviews." It's vague enough to where people don't really know what it's about, but detailed enough to where people don't ask questions. If they want more information, just say that it's late notice and you just need the room. This is where I can sprawl out my papers and get down to real business, which is of course, writing up drafts for new posts on my blog. I'll bring a couple of timecard errors with me or work lists in case someone walks in, but this is where I can get myself organized in a nice quiet space without everyone looking over my shoulder.

If the conference room doesn't work for you, then I always go to one of the kitchens, our employee lounge or someone's office who has left for the day. If someone asks what you're doing in the office, just tell them that you had to ask the person who has left a question and that you're waiting for them to return. It works like a charm.

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Those are just my top three. Of course there are others that I have perfected over time, but these are my first choices whenever I'm in my Slacker Mode. If you work somewhere that's dull and makes you want to jump off the roof without a parachute, I hope you can use these methods and save a little of your sanity.