My Mumbling Thoughts

I am so fucked.

I am So. Fucked.

I guess I should explain why.

I never thought that I'd ever say this but...*takes deep breath*...I think I have too many clothes.

Yesterday I went shopping since all of Northern Virginia was having their annual No Sales Tax Weekend for all of the chaps who are preparing to go back to school in a matter of a few short weeks. Parents pack all of their children into their mini vans to buy paper, folders and Crayola products in bulk. For once we don't have to do math and add 5% sales tax onto the final price that's printed on the price tag. What we see is what we get!

Needless to say I was pretty stoked. No math and no sales tax. I always look forward to this time of year. It's like Christmas only I'm buying things for myself. Well, I guess I could buy for other people, but I don't know anyone else who will be going back to school.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that I got shopping fever and was blinded by my own selfish wants and needs. I went a little crazy and bought a lot. When I say "a lot" I think you should envision the Grand Canyon. Now think of the Grand Canyon filled with nothing but clothes from Banana Republic Petites, American Eagle and Target. Think shoes, shirts, pocketbooks, pants, skirts, dresses underwear, luggage accessories, paper and keychains. It's all brand new and scattered randomly throughout my room.

Last night I was really excited, because nothing excites me more than buying new things, coming home and having one of my little runway shows. But after I was done playing dress up and lining all of my shiny new things on my bed, it finally hit me that I won't have any room in any of my suitcases to bring any of this stuff with me.

I WON'T HAVE ANY SPACE.

Why? Because I already had clothes that I was planning on bringing with me. I've got shoes, pocketbooks, pants, shirts, underwear, skirts, dresses and everything else that I'll ever need for all four seasons for the rest of eternity. I've got it all. I have enough. Now I've just added a bigger pile to add onto the already massive pile that is already bursting at the seams.

I remember a couple of weeks ago when I recieved one of my university packets in the mail with helpful tips for when I would be traveling and a nice little checklist that came with it. One of the suggestions was that I should only bring what I need and that two luggages should be enough. Nobody wants to be carting around four or five giant suitcases around the airport.

At first I thought it was a joke. How is someone supposed to only bring two suitcases with them to college? Seriously. With all of the mental packing that I've been doing I had squeezed everything into four, and that's not including my carry on bag plus my pocketbook.

For months I've been thinking about what I absolutely need to bring with me, what I could bring if I had some extra space and everything else that I can live without and leave behind. It's so hard to choose though and part with bits and pieces of my life that I've always had. How can I leave any of my books and dvds? What about all of my pictures on the wall and other random quirky things that I have around my room that I don't necessarily use but keep anyway for sentimental reasons. I'm going to miss my Hello Kitty toys that I got from McDonald's when they were selling them in the happy meals and my beloved shot glass collection that is still growing. These are things that I've already decided to leave behind simply because I don't think I'll really need them (well, I am bringing at least one or two shot glasses with me).

As hard as it is for me to part with my magazines and beanie babies, the hardest things for me to go through are all of my clothes. I love them all and can't bear leaving them all behind. It reminds me of a Sex and the City episode when Aidan is moving in with Carrie and he suggests to clean out her closet so that they can make some more room for his stuff. He mentioned that he doesn't know why she keeps all of those clothes because she hasn't ever worn any of them.

"Yet," she points out. "I haven't worn any of them yet. Someday I will."

That's exactly how I am. I've got a lot of clothes that are hanging in my closet that I've yet to wear, but I never know if an occasion will come up and I'll be so happy that I have my white Ann Taylor halter dress that is practically brand new and still doesn't have any matching shoes to go with it. It would be perfect for a nice spring garden party. So what if I don't know anyone who has a lawn with chemically treated grass, or an actual garden. The point is that it might happen and if it does then I'm fully prepared.

That is how I shop. I go out, I see something that I want and then I picture myself wearing it either with something that I need to buy or something that I already have. It's just like my new rain jacket that I bought from Banana Republic. Let's not even take into consideration that I've already got two perfectly fine rain jackets in my posession, but this particular jacket that I saw and tried on was absolutely perfect for me. And on me for that matter. I looked stunning and I would look even more stunning wearing it with my new fancy jeans, my hot brown knee high boots, while standing in the rain in London.

Why am I standing in the rain in London? Who knows. I could be window shopping, I could be waiting for someone, I could just be out for a walk because it's fucking London and I will be doing a lot of walking. Whatever the reason, I'm going to be wearing this beautiful rain jacket so it was pretty obvious that I needed to buy it.

Right now I'm scared. I'm scared that I want to bring too many things with me and I'm going to end up being the Perfect Example as to why you should only pack two luggages when you go to college. I'll be the one who gets pulled onto the luggage conveyor belt because my bags are too heavy. Round and round I'll go and then I'll really be reconsidering whether or not I should have packed so many pairs of jeans or if I really needed all of those damn t-shirts.

One of the ways around struggling with four suitcases is simply shipping over the stuff that won't fit. I should only bring what I'll need for at least the first two weeks and eventually the rest of my belongings will arrive via the post. The only thing that I don't like about that idea is what if something gets lost or breaks? Or worse, what if that one situation that I have yet to think about suddenly pops up and I am left unprepared because the one thing that I need is securely taped in a brown U-haul box? What will I do then, huh? How am I supposed to cope?!

I know, I probably sound crazy. I should just chill out and come up with a new plan. I need to be more strict when it comes to my lists and not worry about any potential scenarios that may or may not come up. It's just college after all. Most of the time I'll probably roll out of bed and wander into class with an old pullover sweater and jammy pants. There's no need to panic and I'll just have to keep repeating to myself that I don't need all twelve of my fancy dinner dresses.