My Mumbling Thoughts

The cold, the wind and the rain keep us all inside left to entertain ourselves. There's no point in getting all dressed up to go out when you think about freezing your legs while waiting on the bus or taxi and having the wind toss your hair around before you even make it to the bar or club.

So we stay inside, drink inside, watch dvds inside and only leave to get bread, milk, fags and more alcohol.

Mel left back for the states this past Saturday and I could tell that she was ready to head back over the pond and rejoin everybody else who lives in a reality that I have completely forgotten about. A steady job? Huh? I wonder what that is. Bills that I have to pay every month? Can't remember what that's like.

She said she had fun and a really good time, but that she couldn't keep up with it all anymore. I do think it was quite the shock to her system as it was to mine, but I think it was a lot easier for her since I was here and all of my flatmates were really good to her. By the end of her stay she felt just like one of the girls and was already picking up on how things run around here. She knew that we had to catch the 85 to get into Kingston and how even if you don't drink or live the party life when you're in the city, life here costs an arm and a leg. She tells the time differently (i.e. half four or quarter past five, instead of four thirty or five fifteen), eats toast with most of her meals now and has learned about nutella and how it is a gift from Heaven.

We had a good time and when I left her at the airport, I knew she was going back home with new stories to tell everybody. I got a little misty-eyed after I watched her pass through the security gates at Heathrow, but I knew she would be back. Her and Momma both would be back.

Since then, I've been sat at home working on some of my coursework that's due this week and having some good 'ole bonding time with most of my flatmates. We're celebrating at the end of this week after everybody has finished handing in their work and taking their exams. It will be three non-stop days of drinking and properly living it up. We can't sit at home any longer. We've been home bodies for way too long. All we want to do is put on some make-up and dance to the cheesy pop music that we know and love.

But we also know that we need to pace ourselves this semester and calm down a lot. One evening when Fiona, Carlene and myself stayed up until half seven in the morning, sober and talking about every subject under the sun, we all discussed how we need to chill the fuck out and not make the same mistakes we did last semester. It was funny to hear how we're all similar in the fact that we all had full time jobs before we came to uni and how we've all mentally turned back to how we were when we were sixteen. The uni life does consume you and now that we're aware of it, hopefully we'll be a little better in recognizing it and not letting every little problem stop the whole world. I don't want to be the stupid, selfish, drama queen that I was last term. That's not who I am and not who I want to be. I do have a rational side to myself and I shouldn't let petty stuff distract me from the rest of my life.

The subject of who we were going to live with next year came up as well. We won't be on campus anymore and will no longer have somebody come in every day to clean our kitchen or bathrooms. Things are definitely going to change. Nobody knows if it'll be for better or worse. All I know is that I want to stay close to the campus so I can still go to the bar and the bop without having to worry about transportation back home.

Sure, it's odd to think about the future, both near and far, but as much as I want to be more responsible and be that person I was back home, the other half of me simply can't be bothered and I'd be more than satisfied to sit around here, eat my mix of sweets that I buy from Woolworths and remain in our little uni bubble for just a little while longer. Life is so much warmer inside.