I'm back home for the summer. I guess it's okay. I'm not speaking to Momma and I haven't seen her in the past three days. She saw my labret piercing and freaked out. I don't think the tattoo on my foot made things any better either. She didn't even say hi or how was your flight? Instead, she immediately said to me when I was in ear distance, "you know you're taking that out, don't you?" I just kept my mouth shut. Like I would actually take my new favorite piercing out because Momma told me to. I haven't really done anything for the past week other than lay in bed, watch bad daytime TV and eat peanut butter. I've already finished two small containers. I don't think it's healthy, but whatever. I'm eating a salad that Helen used to make and I fell in love with. I did go out last night to the Bungalow where everyone still holds happy hour. It was Jody's farewell happy hour since she got a better paying job working elsewhere. Good for her. It was weird being surrounded by work people again, listening to the same shop talk that I left almost a year ago. It seemed like not much had changed. Except for me though. I had changed. A lot. And they let me know. Questions, quesitons, questions....when did I do this? When had I done that? Did it hurt? How was school? Was I glad to be back home? When was I coming back to work? Blah, blah, blah.... I just kind of sat there for a bit slightly bored. I was half-expecting to see Helen walk through the door, and there were times when I wanted to send her a text message, but couldn't. It was weird being back on the outside of uni and trying to re-aquaint myself with things. I didn't like it and while everyone was chatting about their family lives, or work, or drinking stories from way back in the day, I wondered if I was headed to the same place. I didn't want that to be me in twenty years, rambling off drinking stories about when I was in London, living a crazy, mental life. I know I've changed quite a bit, but I didn't realize it was going to be so...obvious. I even noticed that I think differently and I'm not sure whether it's for the better or worse. But then again, who really cares if it's either or? I've just changed and if anything, have learned so much more by going off to uni. Maybe I didn't learn everything in my lectures, but I did learn loads more about people and life in general. I noticed small things after getting back and am still getting used to some stuff. I had forgotten that we have sales tax over here and rather than paying $1.29 for a diet Pepsi, I had to pay $1.32 to my surprise. I don't smoke as much back home either, mostly just because it's so damn boring to go all the way outside just for a smoke. And it's really hot over here. A lot more hot than uni. I'm not known out here though. Nobody really knows who I am like they do back at uni. I was known at the Belfry. People knew my name. Our group was legend and we made statements. But here, I was just that girl who went off to London for college. Who came back wearing different clothes, saying different things, looking different. I was just different all together. I didn't mean fuck all here. The funny thing though is that I really don't care. I don't want to be That Girl here. Not with these people who live in middle-class white suburbia with their double car garages and tupperware parties. That's not me and it's not who I want to be. I want to be That Girl in London and only in London. Back here in VA I can just be the quiet little girl who likes to eat peanut butter and is a mystery to everyone else. I am desperately missing uni though and everyone. Carlene, Santos and Zoe have gone off to Thailand and then they're off to Greece afterwards. I'm thinking about going to Greece for a couple of weeks if I can scrape the money together. It'd be nice to go and see some uni folks. Helen, Jon and even boy Sam said that they wanted to come here and visit me in VA. Then we'd roll up to New York for a couple days for no other reason except that we want to. Trish is staying in London over the summer and working full time while Fiona is getting a job at Gatwick airport and chilling back at her house. We've all split up to do our own thing over the summer and while some of us will still be together or meeting up, it won't be the same not having the whole group there. Who knows what'll happen. All I know is that I'm trying to get my old job back so I can start getting a paycheck. I won't be doing much this summer if I don't gather some moolah up for myself. I have to get motivated about my days before I quickly fall into a slump, which I already see occuring. I've been back for almost a week and my suitcases are still sitting at the foot of my bed, unpacked. I should do it, but emptying my suitcases and going through everything that I brought back with me, means that the first year really is over. I'm not just going to be back home for a couple of weeks. It's months this time and my next plane ticket to go back to London isn't scheduled until September 12th when the second half of my uni journey will begin. We'll see....we'll certainly see how things unfold for us.