My Mumbling Thoughts

I rented a temporary laptop from the library on Friday. It's just not the same. Things look differently on this adopted laptop. They feel different. I dislike it immensely. I miss my darling Bridget.

I still haven't heard back from the Apple hospital, but I figure I did drop her off late on Thursday evening. It's only Sunday. And I suppose no news is good news?

Until I hear back from the folks at Apple though, I guess I should be grateful that I do have this loaner...I can check the internet at my own leisure, which is handy, so I'm not constantly asking the girls if I can nick their laptops for a little bit just to check my facebook.

But still...things aren't in the same place. I'm lost on this old school IBM laptop that's cold and impersonal. I hate it.

Aside from the laptop drama, I've been a busy little bee as of late. Again, I'm behind on uni work and am getting letters and warnings already about my work. Honestly, I'm afraid I might fail. This year is definitely not going as planned, but I hope to try and turn some things around in the next week or two. But it's not like I'm not doing the work because I don't feel like it. I've just got way too many other things going on at the moment. Campaign week starts bright and early tomorrow morning promptly at 8am, I have a floor rep interview on Friday at 3:30pm, I have to make a speech on Tuesday at 6:00pm, oh yeah, and the long awaited date is finally this Wednesday.

I've also got to go out and be social for the next two weeks with money that I simply do not have. The number that I owe people steadily climbs upwards, whilst the funding in my own account is swiftly disappearing. The rent is two weeks overdue, I don't have a job, but have plenty of stress to go around and share with everyone.

I want to scream.

But I don't. Instead I sleep, because I figure that's more beneficial to me and everyone within earshot.

How do things get like this? When did I allow for things to just get so crazy without me noticing what was happening? Why am I such a freak and can't just get things done, sorted and out of the way? I really want someone to just come in and help me out. I think I might have bitten off far more than I can chew.

I suppose on the bright side of things, Mel told me that her and Momma are going to be getting their taxes done on Monday. Apparently I'm supposed to be getting a nice chunk of change, and that will help out loads when it finally comes in. I'm just glad that Momma is OCD about getting her taxes done early, rather than waiting until the very last minute (which is probably more something I would do).

I'm just not used to being busy. Like, really busy to where people depend on me for things. I'll find a groove and then things will hopefully run a lot more smoothly.

I do have competition in this year's election for my intnernational officer spot. Her name is, Mo. Seriously. As if that's a real name. Pffft....whatevs. She's from Holland (I think) and her "3rd year" friend/campaign manager felt the need to tell me this past Friday at the bop that I was going to lose.

Ha! Whatever. I was really looking forward to this being a clean campaign without any fuss, but her friend just pissed me off and made me kick my campaign into high gear. You do not tell me I'm going to lose. I could have punched her.

I have lots of people around me who are going to help me out (thank goodness), and I'm sure that by the end of next week, I would have kicked her ass in the elections and win by a landslide of votes. Bitch.

This weekend I've mostly just been in bed, thinking, thinking, constantly thinking about things that I have coming up. I know I shouldn't overthink things, because it's just going to make me stress out even more, but I can't help it. Ugh, especially about this date, that I'm actually not looking forward to anymore. Before I would have been fine, but now I've had time (too much time) to think about it, and now I've built it up far too much, therefore leaving me with expectations that I'm sure will not be met, and leaving me crushed. By my crush.

Blah....my brain is just so crowded with stuff I can't even write properly. How am I supposed to write creatively when all I keep on thinking is, "campaign, date, no clothes, dirty flat, essays, books I haven't read, no food, no time for food, have I peed today?" Oh yeah, that sounds really good.