My Mumbling Thoughts

Summer has definitely touched London, and for the past week and a half or so, I've been laying outside with just enough clothes on to not get thrown in jail for indecent exposure. We walk around in flip flops, tank tops, short shorts and our hair pulled up and off of our necks to try and keep cool. It has been nothing but bright, blue skies, hot sun and ice lollies. And slightly pink skin from absorbing too much of the hot weather. I forget that my skin isn't used to all of this sunshine, and got a bit too excited about staying outside for hours on end. I've since spent the past two days mostly inside, shielding my gentle skin and letting it recover from the harsh rays. I do believe that tomorrow I should be fine though, and will be going out to the parks for more naps out on the grass.

It has been a lovely break from the past few weeks where I've locked myself indoors, only to stare out the window and wishing I was outside, but rather had to force myself to do coursework that I hated and wanted to throw over the balcony to the random animals so they could tear it into little shreds of nothing. I have been making up for lost time, to say the least, and am enjoying my little rest from the hell that was the end of my second year at uni.

This next week, however, will not only just be spent dozing off in the grass, but waiting for Simon to call with any potential jobs. He called me last week for a job that paid so well, but that quickly dissipated when all of the positions were filled before they even reached my name. It was sad, but I'm hopeful this week will bring something else. I also submitted my CV to another temp agency called Office Angels. Apparently they're supposed to be really good as well, so I hope to hear from them too. I suppose it'll just be a race to see who can get me a job first. The sooner I start work, the better I'll feel about a lot of things.

Until then, I've just been doing chores around the flat, making sure that things are ready for when I actually do get work. I bought a couple of shirts to go with some of my nice trousers, ironed all of my clothes that require ironing, bought groceries, and so on. Everything will be ready and stocked for me, that way when it is time for me to work, I don't have to worry about running late because I didn't iron that one shirt that goes so nicely with my light pink trousers. It also keeps my mind occupied from going absolutely insane.

Today is Mother's Day back home too. I called Momma and Mel via Skype and chatted with them for a little over two hours. It was good to catch up with them, have chats and imagine that I was back in the townhouse for a little while. Everything they said, I could picture in my head: I saw Mel making pork chops for Momma's Mother's Day dinner, saw us watching P.S. I love you downstairs on the couch, while Momma rode her exercise bicycle, and saw Momma in her room doing her Sunday ironing and watching all of her shows that she recorded on TiVo. I saw it all as if I was right next to them.

I've got another counseling meeting coming up in the next week. It's with Lena this time, not Fran. Lena called me last week and wanted to schedule a time for me to come in and chat with her. At the time when she called me I was thinking, "I don't need these things anymore, I'm fine," although now when I think about it, it is probably good for me to go in every so often and clear my brain out. So far it hasn't done any harm to me, so I reckon it can only help me in the long run. She actually gave me her mobile number as well just in case "I needed to reach her." Kind of scary, but at the same time, nice to know that I have a counselor on called, heaven forbid I have a random mental break down in public; I can just reach for my phone, give her a ring, and she can help me stop hyperventilating without me even being in her office.

It's lazy days at the moment. While it is nice to not have any obligations or coursework weighing me down, I would like to get a steady schedule so I can have something to do during the day. There are only so many things I can do here at the flat or at my nearby parks, before I'll start getting irritated, before I start going mental. I want to work. I need to work. I'm ready to work. And in between working, you can find me sprawled out in a warm sun patch in some soft, green grass.