My Mumbling Thoughts

Whatever happened to the simple one night stand? When did it get to the point where a man and a woman who are complete strangers couldn't just have one night of drunken passion without strings attached? I miss those nights.

I've had a couple of one night stands in my lifetime, and generally, I don't call them, they don't call me, and I hope to never ever bump into them in the harsh rays of daylight. But there have been a couple of randomers that want my number, want to take me out, want to get to know me after we have sex.

My only question is, what's the point? Really though.

There is a difference of having free bootay available in your phone for emergencies. I have yet to find someone that fits the bill here in London, but back home, if I ever got desperate, I had a guy or two I could call upon to scratch an itch that I had, so to speak. Their names sat quietly in my phonebook, ready and willing just waiting for my call. We didn't go out to dinner and movie; there were no love notes left behind; we had an unspoken understanding.

But these boys (and they are boys) that want to try and make something out of a drunken, sexual encounter confuse me. Don't they know that I'll be okay the next day? That I probably don't remember their name (I still don't remember that one's guy name that we simply refer to as "air con guy")? That there's no need for the uncomfortable phone calls/text messages/emails/what have you.

For the past couple of months, I have been going through a serious dry spell, and London's hot weather was not helping me. Sitting on the bus and seeing all of these beautiful men walk around without their shirts on, seeing the sun being reflected off of their sweaty skin, was just all too much for me to handle. I just wanted to be completely wrapped up in their man arms, inhaling their man smell, being absolutely engulfed in their whole man-ness.

However, it was difficult for me to go out for an evening since I knew that I had work early the next day, and I was trying to save money so I could pay the rent, pay people money I owe them, pay for something else that requires money. How was I supposed to get laid when I had other obligations?

Last week, my friend Alex gave me a ring while I was on the bus on my way home from work. It was another hot day and I was suffocating in everyone's body odor on the bus. It was insufferable.

"Hey honey, what are you doing later today?" she asked me.

"Um, not too much. I'll probably just go home, make some dinner and tidy up before I get ready for bed so I can go to work tomorrow." I told her, thinking to myself how boring and old I sounded.

"Well what if I said that all of the drinks at the bar are a pound tonight? And that I found a tenner today? That's five drinks each. And I just figured that we haven't seen each other in a while. I think it'd be good for us to go out and have some bonding time."

She did make a good argument. So good that I couldn't turn her down.

"Yeah. That sounds good. What time should I meet you? I have to go home first and change and de-skank, because I smell like work and look gross."

"Well I get off work at seven, so we could meet then?"

"I'll see you then," and hung up my phone a little more excited about my night.

It was band's night at the bar, and since we were there two hours early, we got to see all of the bands tune up and do their sound checks. I had already spotted three musicians that I thought were really fit and wouldn't mind letting them strum my guitar. I just sat there with my Pimm's and furiously eyed them up and down.

As the night continued, mine and Alex's "couple of drinks" turned into who knows how many shots and a landslide of double vodkas and oranges. We were drunk and dancing in the middle of the bar just as the first act was taking to the stage.

"That's the one," I slurred to Alex. "That lead singer right there. I want that one."

"Well go for it! Go and tell him you think their band is brilliant and that you'd like for him to fuck you," she laughed.

"No, no. I'm not that drunk. I don't think. But I will tell him I think they were brilliant."

And so off I marched right up to the lead singer/guitarist and gurgled something about how I thought their band was really good, I thought they were brilliant, I might have even said something about how I thought he was fit.

"Aw, cheers mate. I was watching you guys. You were the only two in the whole place that were listening," he smiled.

"You were watching me?" and somehow after that we ended up outside chatting to the rest of the band members, their girlfriends (whom I love and find absolutely adorable) and smoking cigarettes while our drinks splashed about.

Not all of them had girlfriends. The drummer boy was available and we were having really good chats. He was telling me about how he had met Kate Nash, how she was a bit of a bitch, and met some other producers and named a couple of other bands that he also plays with. Bless him, he was really sweet and I found myself chatting ridiculously fast about my love of music and how if I could have a perfect life, I would be Kate Hudson in Almost Famous. If that dream never came true then I'd want to be Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

But even though he was sweet, and nice, and kind, and lovely to chat to, I wasn't particularly attracted to him physically. He had good hair, I would give him that. That being said, I was able to overlook the fact that I wasn't physically attracted to him through my alcohol infused vision and had sex with him anyway. And it was alright. It wasn't good. It wasn't bad. It was standard and got the job done.

Afterwards, he left in the middle of the night. I came downstairs and talked to Trish, Helen and Carlene who were still awake because apparently I was so loud (oops), even if I did try to keep quiet. I didn't stay up long though, since I had to be awake really early to go to work the next day.

"You are so not going to work tomorrow," Trish laughed at me.

"Ugh, I have to. I need the money."

I was hungover, I was extremely tired, I was running on about three and a half hours of sleep, but I still managed to be at work bright and early at nine o'clock in the morning -- and sporting a new lovebite that I didn't realize Mr. Drummer Boy had given me.

I thought that was it. I thought it was just another stranger that I had crossed paths with and nothing else would ever happen between Drummer Boy and me.

But I got text messages.

He added me on facebook.

He actually told me, "I can't stop thinking about the other night."

And he wonders if we could possibly meet up for drinks and chats later this weekend?

"Aw! He actually wants to get to know you!" Alex squealed to me over the phone while I was standing in the corridor at work.

"No! This is bad. I do not want to 'get to know him.' I want to just forget it ever happened, and find a new guy to have sex with. That's what your twenties are for. Besides, I found them on facebook and they are young. Legal. But young."

"But you said yourself he was really nice."

"Yeah. So? There are lots of nice people in the world."

"You should go and see him."

As I stood out in the corridor pacing back and forth, I thought maybe we could be friends? He was really nice and so were the other band members. And oh my god their girlfriends were just the sweetest things I could have squeezed them.

"We'll see," was all I said.

Now I don't know what to do. The poor thing wants to meet up for drinks and chats, and I just want to find somebody new. I don't even know where he lives, although I'm thinking it's pretty far away since he had to go to Waterloo to catch a train up north, and he said he didn't get home until six in the morning. I'm not getting on a train to see a one night stand. If he just so happens to be in my neck of the woods, then yeah, I'll catch a bus or something, but that's it.

I'm just confused as to when things got so complicated. Maybe it's because he's quite young? These younger guys seem to be all about relationships, commitment and having girlfriends. I thought I wanted a relationship (and perhaps I still do), but it doesn't mean I can't have fun with other random boys that I find along the way. Maybe he has a soft heart? Just as long as he doesn't confess his undying love for me and want to play me the songs that he has written for me, then it should be fine.