My Mumbling Thoughts

There's a group that exists at my uni, a group that I have hated ever since I saw them in the middle of my first year: those pretentious, wannabe, snobby, fuckface hipsters. Jesus they really get under my skin and irritate the living shit out of me. When the weather's nice, I see them all sat outside on the lawn reading Chekhov or Nabokov trying to appear smarter than they really are and quote passages that makes them seem like they're all existential, when really they're just posing hipsters that fuck me off. Kiss my ass you granola eating*, tree hugging, soapbox shouting, ostentatious fucktard.

Yeah. I don't like them one bit.

They all huddle together and look down upon the rest of us who don't listen to the same kind of indie music, don't take the same kind of interest in their documentary films or don't sit around and read the classic books (and just an FYI, I'm totally going to read Chekhov and Nabokov; they're on my Amazon list, and I've wanted to read them long before those hipster assholes even knew who they were). It's that group of kids that just put themselves above everyone in the university -- hell, everyone in the world -- and have convinced themselves that they are different, funky, unique and original.

Sadly, I have to tell them that there's not one fucking thing original about them. Because they all cling together like cotton candy, that just makes them like the rest of us, the masses, the "unoriginal", "boring" crowd.

There are two girls in particular that I'm not big fans of. First, there's Lucy (of course her name has to be Lucy), and then there's Milla, who is kind of like my unofficial arch enemy at university. I have taken it upon myself to square off with her and do everything I can to show that yes, I am better than she is, and she's just a big pile of shit.

Part of me hates myself for feeling this way, for hating two girls that I don't even know based purely on what I've observed and know from hearsay; but then there's that other part of me that doesn't fucking care and wants to prove just how awesome I am and how shit they are.

Take Lucy for example. She actually wrote this to someone:

I have no phone. I feel like I'm missing something essential, like my arm's been cut off. Or it would if my arm was an important means of communication. Which I suppose could happen if I were deaf....

....anyway, I digress. Friday? x x

Seriously, what is that? Why does she have to go and write some bullshit message and try way too hard to make it seem like all of her conversations, even those that are generally quite simple about the fact that she currently doesn't own a phone, and turn it into some kind of long-winded message? Just tell the person, 'Yo, no phone at the moment. Friday still on?' But no, she has to go and make it seem like she has all of these fantastic thoughts that are overflowing in her brain, and fucking hell, even a small conversation about her lack of said phone are so important and interesting.

Fuck. Her.

And then there's Milla. Fucking Milla. She just thinks that she is so fucking brilliant and is on the fast path to Big Things in the music/magazine industry. Yeah. Somebody was stupid enough to put her in charge of this new and "upcoming" magazine that's in my local area. And I say they were stupid enough, because the girl can't even differentiate between "there", "their", and "they're". I've seen her published articles in our uni newspaper that don't make any fucking sense. This is basic primary school stuff. The magazine is supposed to be jammed pack of reviews about CDs, gigs that people have gone to and new bands that are busting out in our local London area. The idea of it I think is really good, but the actual execution was sloppy and rushed. They don't seem prepared and everything just seems like it was all thrown together at last minute. It didn't impress me, and even though I can't stand the girl, I would have given her props if it was decent. I'm not that much of a cunt to not give a person kudos when it's deserved.

I was asked to join and maybe I could even write some articles for it, but I declined stating that I'd much rather have my ass cheeks stapled together than have to work under Milla. It's related to what I'd like to do, but if I do it, I'm going to do it my way, and carve out my own path without her anywhere in sight. Fuck her handouts.

Basically what it boils down to is that they're competition and I recognize this. What pleases me slightly, is that I think they recognize me as competition as well. Our uni is quite small, and even if you don't know people personally, you know who they are, you know what they're about based on who they hang out with and the groups that they're in. It's all very high school and cliquey, just like in all of those after school programs. Lucy and Milla are those girls that are more than happy to get up, shout about saving the planet, volunteer their time cleaning up trash in Central and then try to make the rest of us feel bad about ourselves because we decided to stay inside and get stoned or watch DVDs. Whatever bitches. I don't need your judgement. I am all about saving the planet and trying to make the world a better place, but I'm not about shoving that statement down other people's throats, and I'm sure as hell not about making those people feel bad because they're not urgently following in my footsteps. People like them make me think that they have serious control issues.

I know they're not the first competition that I'm going to come across in my life. I'm going to have to get used to the fact that there are people in this world that I'm not going to agree with and not like because we have different views. But hate me after you get to know me; don't hate me just because I'm not wearing some vintage t-shirt that you paid £35 for, and automatically look down at me and assume that I'm not worth your time. And in return I won't call you a cunt whore motherfucking asshole shitface. I think that's fair.

* What am I talking about? I love granola bars!