My Mumbling Thoughts

Hey! Look at me! I'm still here! And dying from exhaustion. Moving back to uni? Is LONG. Moving back to uni AND being a floor rep? Is LONGER.

The good news is that I'm pretty much all moved in, and now the only thing left to do is sort my clothes and, oh yeah! Have the wee freshers move in. Funnily enough one of them moved in earlier today, but now she's gone and I'm left alone in the flat once again. But it's okay, because I'm savoring this quiet time, this alone time, this time when I can walk to the kitchen in nothing by my tights and bra and not worry about someone freaking out because OHMIGOD! I'm halfway naked. Blah.

I've had the proper floor rep training (lasted two LONG days), and my, I didn't realize that there was so much to do and think about. Especially fire safety. Wow! I will never again stay in the building if there's a fire alarm. I know that may sound weird, but there are literally about two hundred fire alarms going off every year, and quite frankly, I can't be bothered to go outside, in the cold or rain, just because someone burned their toast AGAIN. But after my floor rep training, you can bet your ass I'm going to be high tailing it outside and counting each of my girl's heads making sure they are safe outside.

And yeah, I said girls. I have EIGHT GIRLS to look after this year. One of them is named Sam (because my name is just so popular around here), AND she's a lesbian, which just makes me feel superior than all of the other flats for some reason.

"Oh, well one of my freshers is a lesbian, so there! My flat is better than yours!"

Okay, so it's not a competition, but kind of, it secretly is. We all want good, fun freshers that don't kill each other or drive us insane. We all want to be a close knit little family that love and take care of each other, and that's the environment I'm going to try and create from day one that starts tomorrow. Tomorrow we'll all be together in unison as I walk them down to the bar for the free barbecue and a landslide of cheap, student drinks. I'm not sure what will happen after that.

Aside from preparing for my wee freshers, I've also been getting myself sorted and prepared for uni in general. I still have to sort my loan (stupid banks!), pick up some things that I left at Helen's house while I lived there and deal with one stupid drama after the other.

First drama? Carlene. She knows I'm upset with her and is trying the whole "can't we sort it now so things aren't awkward?" move. And I'm just sitting there thinking, no, we can't. I can't be bothered to sit and have that discussion with her right now. I don't want to talk about ALL OF THE MILLION REASONS why I no longer consider her to be a friend. I have way too much going on to try and figure out why our friendship is over and she's so dysfunctional.

Second drama? Ash sent me a reply to my email and I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to properly think about it and decide if I'm going to respond or not. The email wasn't mean or harsh or awful; I was scared to read it at first though. It was just very poignant. Very honest. And just.... it was Ash. And with everything that is going on with me now, I haven't had time to digest it all. But I want to.

Third drama? There is a new guy in the picture that is... lovely. At first I wasn't so sure, but now I think I might actually have a crush on him. A tiny one, but there is definitely something there that makes me do that stupid girl giggle. I've been talking to him for a few weeks now and haven't mentioned it here, because that has kind of been a jinx for me in the past (um, Swindon anyone? Aussie boy?), but I think this could be a something. All you get for now is his name: Ed. Oh yes. It's Ed.

Fourth drama? Do you remember Drummer boy? Well, he kind of asked me out on a date. Okay, I'm not sure if it's a real "date" but we're going to go see Death Cab for Cutie in November. We may be in a group, it might just be the two of us, I don't know. I don't have the details. But I haven't seen him since we, um, well hooked up. I haven't really talked to him either now that I think about it. I just really wanted to go see Death Cab. Yes, I'm a horrible person.

Fifth drama? I had a really bad preggo scare right before I left Helen's house. Yeah, it was probably the worst scare I've had...ever. I know I've had a couple of close calls, but this one was bad. So bad that I actually found myself standing in the pregnancy test aisle with Helen trying to control my breathing and my heart from exploding. Luckily, I wasn't preggo and I didn't have to deal with all of that, but fucking hell it was messing with my head big time. And it made me consider some new things, you know, about kids and me actually having one. Not now, obviously, but I don't think I'm as anti-kid as I used to be. I think maybe, if I feel like it, I could have one. Hell, maybe two if I'm feeling ambitious.

Do you see this? Do you see all of this that has been going on since I've been busy and moving back on campus? This is why I try not to leave the house, because stuff happens and it clogs my brain and makes me get all...blah. And I can't update my blog properly with full details in a story-like manner like I prefer. Next week things will chill out a little bit (I hope!) and I can get more of a routine going. I'll have my lectures, I'll get another part-time job and I'll finish out this last year in one piece.

But one step at a time folks. Right now I'm going to go make some dinner in my underwear and listen to my music loud in the kitchen. Why? Because I'm alone and I can.