My Mumbling Thoughts

Ugh, life is long, life is so bloody long.

But whatever. Who cares? BECAUSE I'M FINISHED WITH ALL OF MY UNIVERSITY WORK.

I think I've damaged my right thumb in the process of work, though, because now I hate to type anything. I use only my right thumb to hit the spacebar and now it actually makes me cringe to think about doing the action like nails on a chalkboard. I was hoping it was just a phase, but no, I actually hate doing it. It should be interesting to see how that pans out for me in the future.

Since my uni work has finished, I've been spending a lot of time spending a lot of money. Too much of it, in fact, but it's okay because I deserve to splash out every so often. I haven't properly spent any money on myself in so long (that wasn't food), I almost forgot what to do when I was in all of the different shops.

Almost. I quickly regained my feet and went to town enjoying some much needed retail therapy.

But aside from shopping like a demon, I've also been going out, drinking, doing a bit of traveling and embracing this newfound work-free zone that I've stepped into. I remember being confused and unsure as to what to do right after I handed in my last portfolio. I was in the flat and things appeared to be the same, only it was much different now that I wasn't chained inside of my room. I could go outside if I wanted to. I could watch some TV completely guilt free. Hell, I could have a lie-in until 9a.m. and not stress that I just wasted two and a half hours of prime writing time.

Now I'm perfectly fine and happy to wake up when I want to, and things appear to just keep happening without me having to worry about being too bored without any work to keep me occupied. My social life is being resurrected and it's about damn time.

Last Friday, after I got finished dropping some serious cash in Kingston, I got a text from my friend Ando. He has been trying for ages to get me to come visit him back in his hometown, but I've never gone because I was either too poor or....well, mostly just because I was too poor. But considering I had just gotten paid from working at The Shop over Easter break and I was now free from all university work EVER, I decided I would go and pay him a visit.

I quickly got ready, threw some essential items in an overnight bag and caught the train to make the very long journey two hours outside of the city to a small town called Farnham. He met me at the train station and then we walked to his house so I could drop my stuff off before we headed to the pub where he works at. Everything, I learned, was within walking distance of his house, which made things so nice and easy. And his house was actually amazing. I don't know why I was so shocked and surprised to see that his house was awesome, but for four guys living together, it was pretty bitchin'.

When we got to the pub, all of his friends were there, some crazy regulars who were blatantly coked out their face and then there was me, taking all of these new sights in. It felt cozy. It felt comfortable. It felt nice to not be in the city with strangers. Even though I didn't know Ando's friends, I felt like I could get to know them and be included in this group that was so close knit it made me want to make a good impression so that they would like me as well.

I did get to know them. I had fabulous conversations and wasn't attached to Ando's side all night like I thought I would be. Apparently I was a big hit and everyone loved me. One of his friends even said to Ando that he "loved me and she is fucking cool."

"Yeah, I know she's pretty awesome," was all that Ando said and smiled at me.

I had an amazing night. I had an entire bottle of rosé to myself. I accidentally had sex with Ando for a second time. And I woke up wondering if this was a new routine we were getting ourselves into.

He had to work the next day and left me in bed after his three different alarms went off seven hundred times. I heard someone come into his room at one point and I laid still with my eyes shut hoping they wouldn't notice me there, even though I'm sure all of his friends knew. Sometime around ten in the morning, I received a text message from Ando asking how I was getting on and to help myself to the cereal downstairs.

So I finally emerged out from under the covers, stretched and clicked all of my limbs and braced myself to face all of his friends sober downstairs who I could hear laughing and walking around. It would be fine. They all seemed like nice people when I met them last night, and I was sure they'd all still be the same nice people the morning after.

They were. They were hilarious and lovely and nothing was awkward. What was this magical place that I had landed in? Why didn't this kind of surrounding exist in London? Or anywhere else in the world for that matter!

I had a cup of tea and sat with Ando's friend, Alex, who chatted with me for at least an hour while I curled up on one side of their sofa still wearing my make-up from the night before. It was then that I decided I fancied Alex and wished that I wasn't leaving so soon. Why did I have to meet him now? How come I couldn't have met him months or even years ago? That would be my luck.

After I showered and got ready, Alex invited me to go to the pub with him. I declined, however, and decided that I wanted to have a wander around Farnham. How small was this place? Did they even have a bank? Because I needed some money and some lunch.

It turns out that they weren't lying when they said you could walk anywhere and reach anything. From Ando's house, it took me about ten minutes to walk into town. I found a cash machine (after asking for directions), bought some lunch and a magazine, then walked to a local park that I saw near the pub and sat there for about two hours as the sun dodged in and out of the clouds. It was a lovely afternoon and great way to cure my hang over.

I got some more text messages from Ando, though, asking if I was going to stay another night. I said that I didn't mind, but that it was up to him. He then gave me a couple excuses about how he had to work late at the bar, get up early again for work the next day, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to stay and chat with me. I could take a hint. I got the underlying message. He didn't want me to be there anymore, and I didn't want to see him after he got off of work.

I walked to his pub, found Alex and asked if I could borrow his house keys so I could peace out and head back home. He seemed a little sad that I was going and I thought it was heartbreakingly cute when he said, "oh, well, I guess I won't ever see you again."

"Don't worry, I'll come back for a visit," I said to him, even though I was pretty sure I'd never step foot in that magical place again.

Just because I'd probably never go to Farnham and see Ando again, it didn't stop me from adding Alex on facebook. Or sending him a message with my phone number, letting him know that if he's in London anytime before June 10th that he should ring me sometime, and we could hang out. Or something.

He replied to my message saying thanks for the nice message, and that he couldn't have left me locked away in Ando's room all day. It gave me a little bit of hope that maybe I would see him again before I leave. Hopefully.