"I'd like to make myself believe, that planet Earth turns slowly"
Nowadays I don't step out of bed until I have one pair of socks on, and then my slipper socks on top of them covering my feet. The cold wooden floors are no longer welcomed as much as they were in the summertime. We are in a slight weather limbo, though, because as the day goes on the temperature climbs higher and higher until we're able to open the windows and clear the house out with a nice warm breeze.
But the morning times are what I crave. I find myself waking up earlier and earlier these days just so I can sit on the sofa in my hoodie, fleece pajama pants and two pairs of socks. I sit in the dark and watch as the light slowly begins to fill up our living room like water in a bathtub, enjoying the quiet moment right before the animals start waking up, or the crickets begin chirping. It's one of the familiar changes that I love.
We are right on the brink of autumn, and of course the holiday season. The trees are no longer green, but instead all of those classic autumn colors - rustic red, burnt orange and golden yellow. Every time we step outside we're showered in crunchy leaves. It's as if the trees know that we're watching and feel obliged to look so beautiful and sound so whimsical. It gets me every time. Something about the cold, crisp air feels magical to me and turns me into some kind of festive elf that's always cheery, always wants to make hot cocoa and always has some goofy smile on my face.
I can't get enough of it.
I'm not just on the brink of colder weather, but I'm also on the brink of getting a new job and finally finishing up my degree. I'm halfway there, teeter-tottering right on the edge and all I need is that extra little push over the edge to wrap up some final details and get on with the season. Of course I'm gritting my teeth and getting so anxious from all of the waiting around. I just want it to all be over with so I can start doing things I want to, and sort out things I definitely need to do.
I keep waiting to hear back from this job, though. It's the one that I interviewed with OVER A MONTH AGO. I've since had three more interviews and have spoken to at least ten people, including folks in Human Resources. It's mental, and if I don't get it I will genuinely be so upset, because I love the job, really like the people, and have I mentioned how awesome their benefits are? Because they're pretty damn sweet. It's my first choice in companies that I want to work for, and even though I really shouldn't be banking solely on this job, I am. I haven't been searching for any other places, or applying anywhere else ever since they called me back A MONTH LATER. I want to work for this company. No other company that's even similar to it. Just this one.
So I'll be waiting to hear back from them. Hopefully it'll be good news.
I've been fighting an uphill battle with my university as well. While I have been working on the assignments that were given to me over the summer, I'm still really annoyed with the fact that they waited until after I left the country to tell me that I was 30 credits short, and ON TOP OF THAT expect me to pay more tuition for a mistake that I blame entirely on them.
Entirely on them.
Absolutely. 100%. Entirely on them.
Such assholes.
Once I'm finished with these last bullshit 30 credits, I'm going to compose a letter so intelligent, so inspiring, so poignant, and so mean to the head honcho describing in terrifying details how upset I am with the treatment I received, how let down I am with the education I received and how ashamed he should feel to know that this kind of behavior is happening on his watch. I'm going to point fingers, name names and ask for a full refund since I believe that the standard of services I got were well below acceptable.
And even though I'm sure I won't get anything in return, I'll at least feel a little bit better knowing that I put my angry feelings into a letter and let my final words to that university be a big FUCK YOU.
Then I'll take my diploma, make a photocopy of it and then burn the photocopy in a ceremonial circle that I'll create to release all of that negative juju into the air and out of my life for good. And I'll seal the original copy and keep it in a lock-box for safe keeping.
Right on the brink. It'll feel so good once something is finally not on the brink, but properly finished.