My Mumbling Thoughts

My back hurts.

My back has been hurting all weekend and now on this Monday. All I can really do is sit with a heating pad on the lower part of my back and ask people to hand me things.

"Mel, can you get me some reese's cups please?"

"What?"

"Reese's cups."

"What?"

"Reese's cups goddammit!"

It's really annoying and a not-so-fun surprise to have a sharp, paralyzing pain shoot throughout the entire lower half of my back randomly throughout the day. Every so often you can hear me yelp out while trying to pick Humphrey up, or trying to stand up after I've been sitting for a long period of time. Over the counter pain killers do very little for me (just give me the morphine already!), so it seems I am bound to the couch with the heating pad turned up on HIGH.

Of course I'm no longer much fun for Humphrey anymore as I can't play fetch with him, bend down to his level to do tricks or, well, do much of anything. He's now left to entertain himself while I howl in pain for no apparent reason.

Being couch bound does have a few upsides I suppose, like forcing me to get my work done since I have nothing else better to do, or catch up on more TV shows that I've fallen behind on. Momma occasionally asks me how I'm doing and if she can make me a cup of tea (yes, please!) and I don't mind letting Mel share more of the puppy responsibilities. But now it's Monday and I'm forced to walk around at a 90 degree angle like a proper old lady.

Fun times.

Other fun times include watching the house transform from Regular Living to Holiday Living. I realized that it has been three years since I've been home for Thanksgiving, and I am here this time round to help with all of the holiday decorations. Usually I'd come home and everything would already be set up, whereas now I can participate!

Well, so long as my back cooperates.

It's always on the weekend after Thanksgiving when we pull the tree out, set up our little St. Nicolas Square Christmas houses and hang the stockings. The house fills up with annual festive smells that only last for a little over a month, and in that time I am transformed, as I always am, back into a nine-year-old girl who runs around the house in her jammies finding different places that haven't been adorned with tinsel yet.

I fucking love the holidays.

I've already received an early Christmas present as well, which always makes me happy.

My student loans, which I've been stressing about ever since I came back home, have been deferred until August 2010, which just takes a massive load of stress off my shoulders. My Super Awesome Amazing financial lady, Jan, who I have been dealing with since my very first year of uni, asked if I needed to have my loans pushed back a little bit, and because I am still a part-time student, I don't necessarily need to start paying them back right yet.

I said, yes, of course.

Thank god! I was so worried that I wouldn't have started work yet, and paying my first installment of loans in December when I'd also have to be shelling out money for presents and everything else would have SUCKED to put it mildly. But now I don't have to worry, because I don't have to pay them back for another nine months! Hooray!

So thank you, Jan, for giving me the greatest gift anyone could ask for.

Speaking of not having a job yet, I'm really fucking annoyed that I haven't started working yet. I mean, REALLY FUCKING PEEVED. I've been dealing with this company now for over THREE MONTHS, and have been wrangling them for one particular job for over a MONTH now. Seriously, how long does it take to process someone's paperwork? Honestly? Because this is just fucking ridiculous. I don't know how much longer I can wait on them, and I don't care how awesome their cafeteria is (it's pretty nice actually), I need to start work like, yesterday. I need a paycheck like, last month. I need to get cracking like, RIGHT NOW. I'm dying here. And I'm wondering if maybe I should start looking elsewhere again and see what comes up.

Although if I really don't get this position I will cry for three days straight, because that would have been THREE MONTHS OF MY LIFE THROWN DOWN THE DRAIN FOR NOTHING.

God I'd be so pissed.

I'm not sure if I should call them, drop someone an email and be like, "yo! What the fuck is going on with my shit? I don't have time to sit around and wait for y'all to fluff around!" The last time I spoke to anyone was last Monday, and she just called to confirm that I knew how to use all of the latest versions of Windows (I totally lied and said that I was fluent in everything that deals with Windows, even Windows 7).

I really don't know. I guess I probably won't hear anything this week either since it is Thanksgiving, and most people generally peace out for an entire week. Maybe next week I'll finally hear something. I've just given up on guessing which day will be the day when they tell me I can start.

Maybe I'll just start going in every day even though they haven't told me a start date. Maybe if I go every morning like it's normal and I've been doing it for years they'll finally recognize me as an employee and give me a paycheck. And if anyone asks me why I'm there, I'll just say that I got an email giving me the green light and I thought it was okay.

Yeah, that'll do. Next Monday I'll totally go in for my first day of work whether they like it or not.

Posted by Sam at 02:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Hey! Look at this! I have a blog! That I actually pay for every year, so I might want to start using it more often.

Meh, what am I saying? That's never been motivation for me in the past.

So what is going on Internets? How have you been? Have you been enjoying this sweet autumn weather that we've been having? I mean, aside from when its been raining, because those were really crap days. Only they weren't so crap, because even when I was all cooped up inside, I was still snuggly in my flannel pajamas drinking hot cocoa and playing with Humphrey.

Aside from my days that resemble a Cuddledown magazine, I've been keeping busy. I won't say that I've been busy, because then that makes me sound like I have real important things going on, but that's definitely not the case. I've just been finding things to keep myself busy. It's a very big difference.

Humphrey obviously takes up about 87% of my time, all the time, day and night. I've gotten past the frustration stage with him, where all he wants to do is chew on everything that's not any of his chew toys, and me tearing out my hair wondering if it's possible for me to cover everything in bubble wrap hoping that the popping noise scares him from touching anything in the house. We are now in the stage where he knows that he's not allowed to chew on the rocking chair, the table leg, the carpet, the lamp chord, the couch, etc and have now moved onto he only wants to chew on my hands. I don't mind cuts and teeth prints on my fingers - I do mind furniture that looks like a crumpled piece of paper.

Other than my pride and joy, Humperdink, I've been writing other things for other people. Well, there are my final two uni projects (they better be my final ones!), and while one project is pretty much finished, I have my other one that is part of the novel I've been working on for the past however many months, and that is taking up a lot of time. A lot of time because I've decided to change the story a little bit. Okay, a lot. I'm re-working the entire thing and adding more characters, working on all of their back-stories and adding so many details I won't know what to use and what to get rid of by the end of it all. My part-time lecturer who is working with me this time around with my story is actually really cool, really nice, really helpful, really motivating and really engaging. I'm really upset that I never had her as a lecturer while I was actually there.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I sent her everything I have for my novel thus far so I could catch her up on where I was and what was happening in the story, and she sent me this MASSIVE email back with a lot of constructive criticism that I wasn't expecting. But it was okay, because I didn't cry or feel like a complete loser. Instead I was really happy that she even took the time to read everything that I sent and talk about my story like it was real. I know, that doesn't make much sense, but when I used to get feedback from lecturers about my novel, they would say very vague things like, "it's too dialogue focused. You need more details." That didn't help me very much. Details on what? Why is too much dialogue a bad thing? I think my dialogue is funny!

They were rubbish.

But Judith (my awesome lecturer), she talked about my characters as if they're real people. How does Erin get to work? How did she meet Lily and Mary? Who are Erin's co-workers? Does she date any of them? What's her emotional journey from the beginning to the end? What does she learn throughout the story? Blah, blah, blah. All of that obvious stuff that I tend to overlook because it's so, um, obvious.

I know none of this makes sense unless you've actually read some of what I've written (hi, Erik!), but because of Judith's critique I know more about what I want to write now. I know the story that I want Erin to tell. I know what I want to change and what I want to add. I know what I need to work on and what I'm already good at. It's a good place to be for my novel right now.

So yeah, THAT'S sucking up a good chunk of my time, and so is another little project I've decided to do. I don't know if y'all remember back in the day I mentioned how I went to this networking group and won a bunch of free business cards? Well, back in the day (summertime-ish) I went to this networking group and I won a bunch of free business cards. It was pretty cool, the food was yummy and I met some nice people. I thought it was funny that I won the business cards, because I don't really have anything to put on a business card. I don't have a cell phone, a work address, my own business or anything worthwhile, so I was drawing a blank when I was told to think of what I wanted my business card design to be.

That's when I thought about this very blog and thought, "what the hell. I'm going to advertise myself."

And so I did.

Cate is the woman who runs the networking meetings, and also maintains her own networking website, and she is the person who was super awesome and hooked me up with these bitchin' business cards. They match my website perfectly, and I even love the fact that they aren't clogged with all of that "necessary" information like cell phone numbers and whatnot.

WELL, when I went to meet her to pick up my business cards, she asked me if I would mind writing a bi-weekly article for her website and talk about what it's like being unemployed in today's economy, the process of getting a job and all of that not-so-fun stuff. And because I have TONS of unemployment experience, I told her, "of course I'll contribute to your website about my six months of hell!" I have a lot of writing material.

So I'll post that link here at some point once it's up and running.

And that's what I've been doing to occupy my time. In between I've been harassing Human Resources for a start date (YEAH I'M STILL WAITING ON THOSE FUCKERS), teaching Mel how to drive so she can FINALLY get her driver's license, taking Humphrey on his daily walks, catching up on TV shows when I get some free time and making cupcakes.

Also, I went to the clinic last week to find out that I am actually free and clear of ALL STDs. Well, at least I am of HIV, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea (so most of the scary ones). This only proves to me that Jesus does exist. TRUST ME. HE EXISTS.

But that's another post for another day. Right now I'm just going to eat a cupcake, rub Humphrey's belly for a while and keep cracking on with my days.

Posted by Sam at 03:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

I don't know who I was trying to trick.

The Mother Gene exists inside of me. Right there. Can you see it? RIGHT. THERE. There it is. It's quite small, but trust me, it's very much real and ever since I picked up my new baby, Humphrey, it has exploded inside of me and taken over my entire body.

Humphrey Fredrick is the newest addition to our family, and ever since this past Halloween (trick-or-treat!) our household has revolved completely around this three-month-old with fur scurrying around the townhouse. Whether it's the middle of the night, or in the middle of the day, chances are you can hear Mel, Momma or myself repeating over and over, "Humphrey! Humphrey! Leave it!"

Oh, but how we all love him to bits and pieces. He could get away with murder with that sweet little face, and it's so hard not to scoop him up when he's whining and shower him with lots of kisses and play with him until he's so tired he falls asleep while standing up. All I want to do is let him lay in my bed, and rub his belly while watching the latest, It's Me or the Dog episode with Victoria Stilwell, who is a goddess in my eyes.

It is like having a small child in the house, though, and I'm having to constantly be keeping an eye on him so I can correct him when he starts chewing on the carpet, or chewing on a laptop chord, or chews on the corner of the plant stands. Even if I'm sure he's being entertained with one of his doggie chew toys, the second I turn around he's disappeared and is underneath a table or chair and has found some random screw to start chewing on. I'll sure be glad once this teething phase is over with and he's not sticking everything in his mouth.

I do love him, though, and while he is a lot of work I'm really glad we have him. I only wish I could have gotten him during the summer when I was so bored out of my mind I couldn't see straight. He's certainly not boring, and it's a challenge for me to come up with new and interesting challenges for him. Trying to keep the dog entertained keeps me entertained.

Mel is home from work today, so while she's taking time to keep an eye on him, I'm taking time to catch up on things that I've forgotten about for the past six days. I have so much uni work to do today, so many blogs to read, and my YouTube videos are stacking up (I'll definitely be watching those during my breaks). I've given up all hope on my farm and I have so many messages and emails I need to respond to. I think I might also have a proper meal as well since I've actually stopped eating and instead just munch on random snacks that I find in our pantry.

Oh yes. I'm THAT girl now. My new little puppy has taken over all aspects of my life just like a newborn child and I've already forgotten about what life was like before he arrived. I can't wait until the novelty and newness of him starts wearing off and we all can just get on with our days.

It's nice being able to stay at home with him, though. I like that I'm able to be with him in the beginning days and take care of him while he's still young. I've had to leave him at home a couple of times to pick Mel up from work, and even though I was only gone for about an hour it tore me up inside not being able to bring him with me. It seems like he's coping a lot better than me, since I'm the one practically crying on the way out and he just looks at me like, "it's okay, crazy lady. I'll still be here when you get back." God knows what I'm going to be like once I finally start work again.

Oh yeah, work. Wasn't that one of my main concerns all summer? Getting a job and being able to pay for things? Why yes, it was. And it seems as if I do have a job now, I've just been waiting for things to "process" and be "approved." I mean, what kind of miracle needs to happen in order for me to get a start date already!

It's with that one company that I waited on for OVER A MONTH, the one that I am completely relying on 100% because I haven't applied anywhere else and really want to work there, because the people seem nice, the building is really pretty (with a cafeteria!) and the job is perfect for me. THAT job.

Well, they emailed me about TWO WEEKS AGO, saying that they were "interested in bringing me on board" and have "begun the paperwork," and then nothing.

Nothing.

I've called once, emailed once, and both times they told me to be patient. Things are "processing" and are waiting "approval."

Seriously?

I mean, seriously.

SERIOUSLY.

So I'm still waiting, and waiting, and will continue to wait until I break down to their mercy and beg them to give me a start date. JUST GIVE ME ONE. I've been through enough torture this year I think.

Until then, I'm taking advantage of this free waiting time, and am playing with my new puppy, Humphrey. My little pride and joy who has reminded me what it's like to be active again, and is teaching me how to be patient every single day.

Posted by Sam at 12:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)