My Mumbling Thoughts

OH MY GOD SHE LIVES.

Well, kind of. Barely. I'm barely living.

That is so not true. I am LIVING. ALIVE. LIVING EVERYDAY TO THE FULLEST.

Okay, not really. I'm just busy now, and I have a job, and Humphrey goes to daycare, and I sit in traffic, and I think of outfits to wear for the next day, and I work through my lunch breaks, and I, and I, and I.....

Oh yeah, I GOT A JOB.

FINALLY. You remember like a gajillion years ago when I was unemployed and hated my life? Well, now I'm EMPLOYED and LOVE my life. Okay, the all caps makes it sound way more exciting than it actually is, but I was definitely over the moon and had what seemed like an endless amount of what I like to call, New Hire High. Seriously, I've never been so happy in my life. My coworkers are lovely and were so welcoming when I first started I just wanted to hug and kiss every single one of them whilst telling them through my tears of joy how happy I am to be here.

SO HAPPY.

So, so very happy.

I've come down off the New Hire High, but I'm still very much happy to be here, to have a place to go to everyday and work and be productive and learn so many new things. It's the complete opposite of my previous Hell Job all those years ago, and it's still taking me some time to get used to the fact that people are genuinely happy to be here. I mean, I thought they were all sick when I first got here because they were always so damn happy and that they were definitely on something, because every time I turned around there was another smile staring at me asking me how I was doing. I thought it would get annoying after a while, but even after being here for nearly two months now, its kind of rubbed off on me, and sometimes I can't help myself from skipping down the hallway or randomly jumping up and down with giddiness.

Lots of joy. Lots of happiness. Lots of no longer being bored. This job definitely keeps me busy and sometimes it's hard to find large chunks of time that I can use to cruise the internet to do important things like update this here blog that I love so much, and neglect equally so.

To be honest, though, it felt good not to write for a while. I have done absolutely zero writing since I turned in my final portfolios (that nearly killed me during the Christmas break). The need to write wasn't there. The thrill, as they say, was gone. The urge had disappeared. I was happily occupied at my new job, with my new coworkers, doing new things that I didn't feel like writing. It was a much needed break after forcing myself to write mediocre things that I felt nothing for.

So one week turned in two, then turned into one month and so forth. I had no mumbling thoughts.

They always find me eventually, though. There I was standing in the shower at 4:12a.m. rinsing shampoo out of my hair and I found myself constructing would-be sentences for future blog posts that I'd want to write. I even physically wrote some of them down in a fancy notebook that I permanently borrowed from the work supply closet.

Whenever I have one of the longest days ever before the sun rises, I like to listen to rap. It makes me feel better and puts life into perspective. Have I ever had to sell crack on the corner while getting shot at by enemy gangstas? No, I haven't. My life is petty in comparison.

The words popped into my head, began forming sentences, paragraphs and would continue winding their way through my thoughts while I was in morning traffic, and would reappear whenever I found a spare minute at work.

They always find me eventually. And I can't stay away.

Although now that I'm sitting back behind the computer screen and typing all of these fabulous words out, I find once again I have nothing of importance to say. There's no point in recounting the past two months, and aside from my newfound employment nothing of substantial merit has happened. Nothing to me anyway. Far, far away from my tiny world in Virginia, many substantial things have happened and are definitely worth mentioning, and thinking about. However, there aren't many more words that I could contribute to the already unspeakable events.

The world turns, the days go on, shit happens and there's not much else we can do about it. Nothing, I supposed, except to pick up right where we left off.

It definitely feels good to be back.