My Mumbling Thoughts

Everything is packed aside from a dress that's hanging to dry, and all of my bathroom toiletries. Although saying that, I'm leaving the majority of my bathroom toiletries, because they simply will not fit in my massive suitcase that I've filled to the brim with English goodies.

I don't want to leave.

I've been here nearly a month, and have stayed an extra week, thanks to that awesome volcano that decided to spew lava and ash everywhere forcing all European airports to close down for nearly a week. I'm sure the random "Act of God" caused havoc for 99% of the travelers trying to reach their destination, but for me, I was quite happy to stay in London and enjoy the sunny days without a single care. The extra week allowed me to see people that I didn't get to previously see in my original days, and see people one extra time that I felt I hadn't seen enough. It made me happy.

Whilst I've been here, I've been on a few nights out, went to a house party completely sober, spent an amazing day lazing in a Wimbledon park that I never knew existed, went to the cinema, got a new piercing, ate at all of my favorite food places, shopped until I dropped, cried because I was sad, laughed so hard I cried, snuggled with my favorite people, rode the bus alone, wore fake eyelashes, sang classic ballads with my friends into hair brushes, ate my weight in cheese, did four loads of laundry, made future travel plans with friends, smiled so hard my face hurt, and so much more.

It was epic.

I realized that I really needed to come back to see everyone, and just be back. I was so consumed with myself in Virginia, and had it all wrapped in my head about how life is when I'm not here, that it was nice to come back and just be. I was convinced that everyone was living these extraordinary lives without me, and I was stuck back at home living some blah mediocre life, taking three steps back when everyone was leaping ahead of me. It's not that I don't want my friends to do well for themselves, it's just I felt like I was being left behind, when that's clearly not the case. We're all the same in the sense that we're in the process of trying to figure out what we want our futures to be, what we want them to look like, and how we want to carve it all out for ourselves. I've not been left behind at all. If anything, we're all standing next to each other holding hands and bracing ourselves for the big leap into a new Unknown.

I love this goddamned city, we all know this. But it's not just my love of the city that draws me back. It's my friends that make it magical for me, and this entire trip has been about us; us hanging out, spending time with each other, and having those fantastically long conversations that drag on to the early hours of the morning. This trip taught me that it doesn't matter where we are, so long as we're together we can make anything special.

I shall be back in Virginia tomorrow, and will head back to work the next day. I'll continue to work, save money, accrue vacation time, and be on a set schedule. It will get boring for me, and I'm sure I'll get frustrated and eventually get to the point where I'll want to uproot everything and start anew. But I know it's not a horrible existence, I know that there's more inside of me that I want to do, and I know I'm not alone.