"Let's get out of this country, I have been so unhappy"
I remember I was on the train on my way to go visit Ando for our last meeting, and while the city transformed into country outside my window, I was exchanging text messages with Mel about purchasing my plane ticket to go back home. She told me that it would be cheaper for them to book a round tirp flight (returning back to London), rather than them purchasing a simple one-way flight. When did I want to come back?
When did I want to come back to London? What a very open quesiton. I didn't really want to leave in the first place. But I guess if I had to put a date on it, I'd go with April. London's so lovely in the springtime. Perhaps over Easter break when everyone's off and the weather is warm enough to sit down by the river with a pint. Yes, April sounded perfect.
Momma and Mel thought I wouldn't go back in April, that I would simply "miss" my flight, but for me purchasing a return flight was set in stone. It was motivation that pulsated throughout me everyday. When I was frustrated during my unemployment months, I just kept telling myself that I needed to get a job so I could save up some money for my tirp in April. When I was annoyed with living in VA and dealing with Americans, I remembered that I was going back to London in April. When I missed my friends and wanted to be close to them, I remembered about my trip in April and how we'd be reunited.
I was going back in April, and nothing was going to stop me.
Now, after counting down the months, the weeks, the days, the hours, it's finally time for me to break out the old suitcase for another trip to my home away from home, my mother country. I'm packing everything up tonight, finishing the necessary cleaning, and will fly across the Atlantic ocean once more, a journey that I'm more than familar with. However, unlike all the other trips, this one will be short-lived, and instead of me having to struggle with two giant suitcases, and two shoulder bags, I'll be much lighter. There won't be any uni work for me to complete, and I won't have a job that I have to sit at for eight hours of the day. I will be completely free to spend my time as I see fit, and I have been busy making as many plans as possible with everyone that I want to spend time with.
It feels strange to think that I'll be back in London after being gone for nearly a year. What will have changed? How different are my friends going to be? How much have I missed out on? Will it be awkward, or will everything naturally fit back into their old grooves and we'll carry on as if nothing has changed? I'm curious/excited/nervous to find out. No matter how much we fight it, time changes everything, changes people and who we remember them as, and who they are today. Will my friends think differently of me?
Everything at the moment is clouded with overflowing excitement, such a climax that there's a knot in my chest and a lump in my throat that I can't seem to get rid of. I can't wait to go back. I can't wait to be back. I simply cannot wait any longer.
London, my love. Why did I ever leave? The distance and time apart has only made me miss you more. I even miss your weather. The second my feet hit British soil, I will remember and know that this is where I'm meant to be. Home is where the heart is, and you stole mine five years ago.