My Mumbling Thoughts

Don't you hate it when you forget what you're wearing halfway through the day? That's never happened to you? It happens quite a lot to me, and sometimes I'll look down at myself and think, "shit, I forgot I was wearing this. What a crap outfit."

Anyway, my back is still out of commission. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see if he can hook me up with some pills, and then I'm probably going to start working out, because I'm disgusting. Plan.

I don't want to talk about my back, though. Instead I want to share a conversation that I had in my head the other morning with two other voices that started talking to me while I was in traffic. Yes, I have a lot of voices in my head. These two just happened to be agent-type voices kicking around some potential writing ideas.

Agent 1: So you've come to us why?

Me: Because I've been writing some things recently, and I wanted to see what you guys think. I mean, nothing is set in stone at the moment, but I'm trying some stuff, reworking some things, have some stuff in the pipeline....

Agent 1: Basically you want us to tell you if it's crap?

Me: Well, um, yes. Please.

A 2: Okay. Shoot.

Me: Well, I thought maybe I could write a short story. I used to love writ -

A 1: A short story! That'd be great. A love story? No, those are shit. There are tons of love stories out there.

A 2: Um, yeah, but love stories are classic. People never get tired of those. Just switch some things up, update it a bit, and voilà! Instant hit.

Me: Actually, I thought more along the lines of -

A 1: You're right. I suppose it could be a love story. Maybe a thriller love story?

A 2: That might work. I like the sounds of it.

Me: Guys! I'm not writing a thriller love story. Or a love story for that matter.

A 1: Okay, well if you're not writing the next classic thriller love story, then what are you writing?

Me: Well, I've not exactly worked out the details, but I was thinking I should start with some kind of short story. You know, keep it small at first, and not dive head first into a novel or anything.

A 1: Fuck novels.

Me: Excuse me?

A 1: Fuck novels. They're overrated. What YOU need to write is a screenplay.

A 2: Yes! A screenplay! Television, movies. It is ALL about film these days.

Me: It is?

A 1: Of course it is. Avatar, Weeds, Modern Family. THAT is what you need to go for.

Me: But I went to like, two screenplay writing lectures. I hated the lecturer with his lazy eye and curly hair. It was off-putting. I wouldn't even know where to start.

A 2: Google! Everything's on google. And you're friend, Alex, did Screenplay Writing. Your one lecturer did say that your stories are dialogue heavy. And didn't your friend Melissa say that she did that one time, too? Lemons? Lemonade!

Me: Mmm....I suppose I could try. That still leaves me with the question of what to write about.

A1: Who would we cast in the movie?

A2: Not sure. They're are so many hot stars out there right now. We could stay classic with Brad or George. Lady-wise there's that blond woman from Grey's Anatomy who's everywhere these days.

A 1: Katherine Heigl.

A 2: Yeah, her. She'd be good to get! A fortune though.

Me: Guys.

A 1: Fuck Katherine Heigl.

A 2: Okay, what about Natalie Portman?

Me: Guys....

A 1: She's intense. Hot though.

Me: GUYS!!

A 1 & 2: What?!

Me: We can't start casting random people! I've not even come up with an idea of what to write yet! And you're already casting characters?!! Geez. You're no bloody help.

A 1: Fuck you, then.

A 2: Wait, can the screenplay be a thriller love story still? We could get Jennifer Love Hewitt.

**

So I guess I'm writing a thriller love story screenplay starring J'Love.....