"It's a nice day for a white wedding"
Ugh, I am such a cranky pants today. Seriously, I'm just one big whiny bitch. I'll try to keep the whining limited today (even though I know that's the hardest task in the world for me sometimes), and keep it to the facts.
FACT: I have an unusual attraction to older men that I work with that I like to call "Inappropriate Work Crushes."
If you know me (and by now I'm sure you do), then you know I've got a thing for older dudes. Preferably older dudes with well-groomed beards. Yum-o. However, my Inappropriate Work Crushes are not men that I fancy in an overt sexual way. No, no, these work crushes are much different. Obviously it is related in some blatant way to me being father-less since I was four-years-old, but regardless, the number of older gentlemen that I fancy at work seems to be rising.
Let me count the names quickly in my head.....
Off the top of my head I've got about six Inappropriate Work Crushes at the moment. That does NOT include my should-be father. No, he's my should-be father, not an Inappropriate Work Crush. That number also does NOT include actual Work Crushes (which, I believe I'm up to four or five of those; I need to get laid or married, one of the two....).
I feel like I should be a little more clear about my Inappropriate Work Crushes: They are all men who are generally forty years or older, and they could probably be like a great uncle to me. They're attractive in that older man way, but unlike the past, I would never go there with them. You know, blow them or anything. Because, eurgh, gross, that'd be all sorts of NOT OKAY on a lot of different levels.
No, these Inappropriate Work Crushes make me feel like a reverse pedophile in a way. I am Lolita pursuing Humbert Humbert (which, I think she does pursue him eventually in the story, and likes the fact that he fancies her) without all of the gross man/child sex. I am attracted to them as men, and find myself wanting not simply their bodies for physical purposes, but their manliness status, and the way they conduct themselves. I like the way they carry themselves throughout their days, the way they dress, and their kind faces that automatically makes me feel nurtured.
The only reason why I mention all of this now, is because today one of my Inappropriate Work Crushes was playing Billy Idol in his office, and came out briefly to play an imaginary air guitar with a highlighter that he was holding in his hand. I was overcome with love and wanted to cuddle him immediately. I would have loved for him to take care of me for the rest of my life.
It got me to thinking about those young women that you sometimes see arm-in-arm with a considerably older man, and understand the attraction. Some people may not get it, and say, "why doesn't she date someone her own age," or vice versa. But I get it. I totally get the attraction, because I am one of those women that likes older men, probably about fifteen to twenty years my senior, and I didn't fully realize it until I saw my Inappropriate Work Crush play air guitar to Billy Idol.
Now that's not to say that I would never go out with someone my own age, or that I'm not attracted to people my age. I am, trust me (they all just happen to already have a girlfriend). It's just that I seem to also like men with some silver streaks in their hair (no, not Sean Connery), more wrinkles around their eyes, and a bit more history under their belts.
It was certainly an interesting fact to learn about myself today, and fully admit to.
So yeah, that's my random bit about Inappropriate Work Crushes instead of my whining about the weather, and my general life crankiness.