"Please, please, the place we're in now, please. Please."
All I want is a little quiet every now and again. Is that too much to ask for?
I suppose it is.
You know its been a while since I've been alone.
Alone.
I thought about it, and the only time I'm alone is when I'm in traffic. And really, I'm not alone, because I'm surrounded by other poor saps who are stuck in traffic as well. We all want to kill ourselves, too, so it's not the greatest bunch to be alone with.
When I'm at the house, Momma is always somewhere near, and obviously Humphrey is here with me. When I'm at work I'm always with coworkers. When the fuck can I just be alone?
This is the complete total opposite of my time spent at uni when I thought I was alone too much. You just can never please me it seems. First she complains because she's alone all the time, and now she complains about never having any alone time. Make up your mind!
It is annoying being a Libra sometimes. If you believe in astrology mumbo jumbo (and I totally do), then we Librans are always struggling to find the balance in life. If we're off kilter, even by a smidgen, then we get thrown out of whack and usually need an entire week to get back on track.
My birthday will be coming up on the 7th of October, and I think the only thing I want is to be alone. I don't want to have to think about taking Humphrey outside for his daily walks, I don't want to sit and have a three hour long conversation with Momma (which, don't get me wrong, are nice to have from time to time), and I want to sit in a room all by myself and do absolutely nothing.
Well, maybe I'll watch some TV, but otherwise I don't want to do a goddamn thing.
I've spoken to Dale about my need for quiet, alone time in a couple of our counseling sessions, and she asked me if I'd be satisfied after I got my peace alone, or would I worry about Humphrey, think about Momma, or wonder what they were doing at work.
Fuck no.
I wouldn't worry about a fucking thing. All I'd need is one day (if I could be greedy, I'd ask for two days). Just one day! Out of all 365 days in the year, just give me one to be alone. Let me have the house to myself. Let me go to a nice hotel and wrap up in the terry cloth robes. Let me waste an entire day on the internet guilt-free. Let me read a book without interruptions. Let me lay.
All that time at uni I was alone. For the majority of my time unemployed I was alone. And I hated it.
But I need it again. Just for one day. Just for one day. Please.