An ode to my Trisha.
It's a story I never get tired of telling people: the story about how I met one of my best friends, Trish.
She is, in so many ways, my husband.
I'm serious. We petty fight like a married couple, we share an intimacy where we can talk about anything (I'll spare you the gory details), and we're both so honest with each other it allows us to be our complete selves without any fear of judgement. If she had a penis, I would have jumped her before she could blink twice!
Our story is so interesting to me, mostly because before we left for university we lived in the same area without ever encountering each other. It took both of us moving to a different country at the exact same time to finally meet. And there, both of us chain smoking in the Heathrow smoking lounge, I met one of my best friends.
The three years that followed, we shared our dream of living in London together. Everyone was going through the same thing, exploring who they were, and trying to figure out where they belonged in this crazy world, but Trish and I shared a different kind of bond; not only was this our first time away from home, but we were both in a foreign country! She ached for Virginia the same way I would ache for Virginia, and I remember one evening in particular when we sat on the metal stairs wrapped in my green flannel blanket when I shared for the first time, out loud, that I was homesick to Trish. She understood, and I'm so grateful that she was there with me.
Two years post university and we're still going strong. Our friendship has struggled upwards with my frustrations towards her, and her taking her own time to figure out her life in her own way. It's true, I get agitated and need to take a break from her, but I know we'll eventually talk everything out and get back to our friendship. Our most recent break was one of the hardest, but she taught me a valuable lesson during our three week stint of not speaking.
We stopped speaking, because I'd decided we were no longer speaking, and that's kind of how our friendship rolls sometimes. I'll need a break from her wonderful neurosis, and she'll give me the space I need. Generally when Trish calls me, she'll have a mini drama of some kind, or know someone who's having a mini drama and I'll listen and dole out my free advice. However, I am the kind of person that eventually needs some action behind your complaints. I simply cannot listen to the same thing over, and over, and over, and over. I'm proactive! Let's do something to change this problem! We can fix it together!
While Trish is very much up for changing something that's irritating her, it takes her some time to get to that point, but meanwhile she still wants to speak to me about the same issue. That's when I usually decide to envoke the I Need A Break From You Card, and I hate envoking that right, because in many ways I feel like I've failed her. This particular break, though, was more like a breakthrough for me, and now helps the way I view all people. It's an invaluable lesson, and I have her to genuinely thank.
And that lesson is no matter how much you love someone, how much you care for them, how much you want the best for them, and how much you think your way is right for them, they need to figure it out for themselves. All you can do is accept them for the beautiful person that they are, and be a supportive friend if ever they need you.
It was liberating, and now we can get back to business of being best friends.
My darling Trish. She makes me laugh, and reminds me to not take myself so seriously all the time. With all of this growing, and learning, and counseling I've been doing recently, it's easy for me to get caught up in all of the deeper issues in life, and Trish is always there to remind me, hey, chill out. It's only life. Now let's go hang out somewhere, and live like Peter Pan.